1/10
What the...?
20 May 2009
I must have some kind of death wish to sit through Doris Wishman's "A Night To Dismember"...very rarely have I used the term "unwatchable" and meant it, but in this case it's absolutely true.

Where to begin? Wishman seems to have wanted to cook up some convoluted slasher-horror movie about insane girl released back into the care of her family only for mysterious killings to begin again. But what she ended up presenting was a muddled mess of catastrophic proportions, even by her standards. Apparently much of the footage shot was lost in a fire, so when the film was edited, large chunks were missing and lots of out-takes had to be substituted. Well, it sure does show.

Watching the movie proves to be a fractured, almost hallucinatory experience. Not a single shot has any location-sourced or ambient sound, all the soundtrack is made up of music, over-dubbed dialogue/narration, and slapped on sound effects. It's like watching a silent movie that has been given a hasty "make-do" soundtrack by someone else. In fact it's like watching a film with the sound off, in a room full of improv actors who are making up the lines as they go along, and bashing pots together to try and make matching sounds to go with the on-screen action. Then again, very few of the lines are actually spoken by the characters. A narration goes on for the entire length of the movie, explaining everything that is happening – however due to the incoherent nature of the film it's the ONLY way of understanding what's happening! And the music! Oh dear...Every type of stock music is laid on with a trowel, from lounge jazz to rock to Gothic chimes, and none of it EVER matches the mood of the on screen action. Maybe Wishman just threw whatever she had handy onto the turntable. And if this wasn't bad enough, the film jumps, cuts, jumps ,and jumps again, in fact every few minutes there is an abrupt change of music or lines of dialogue are abruptly cut off. And I do mean EVERY few minutes. Actually there are a few scenes when the music switches styles every 2 or 3 seconds.

There's all the usual Wishman madness such as shots of feet, hideous interior décor, backs of people's heads, someone moving position and the camera not realising they aren't even in shot any more, etc, etc. In a new level of excitement, we get close ups of people lifting slices of cheese off a dinner plate. Some scenes look as though they were shot twice or even three times – and all the shots are included in the film, so its like some horrible demonic rewind button that forces you to see everything multiple times. Oh and before I forget to mention it, about 30-40 percent of the movie is out of focus.

OK OK, I know there are some Doris Wishman fans out there who find this all part of her peculiar charm. The only other movies I have seen by her are the two Chesty Morgan films, and both of these are hilarious and highly recommended to any bad cinema junkie. So I do see the appeal of her unique style. But watching "A Night To Dismember" was nothing more than a trial. By the time I had reached the 15 minute mark I had had more than I could stand, but by some sheer force of will I managed to sit through the whole thing. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try this at home. Utterly, utterly, mind-blowingly bad.
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