The Order (2001)
3/10
Ham on Rye
23 May 2009
Action-oriented artifact smuggler Jean-Claude Van Damme (as Rudy Cafmeyer) kicks his heels in the Middle East, where he goes to unload a priceless "Faberge Egg". In Israel, Mr. Van Damme declares, "Something is not kosher here." He adds, "I'm not trying to be funny, okay." Okay. Van Damme is sidetracked by the kidnapping of his father, and a thickening plot.

In the holy land, Van Damme meets Charlton Heston (as Walter Finley), who shouts, "Up yours!" to bad drivers, and gets shot at. Ben Cross (as Ben Ner) is nasty to Van Damme. Duplicitous customs expert Sofia Milos (as Dalia Barr) and some scantily-clad women offer some mild sex appeal (the "R" rating is for violence). Heavenly choruses sing, unholy alliances are broken, and Van Damme fights.

The main storyline is more interesting than the film deserves - as it turns out, Van Damme becomes involved in a search for an ancient religious sect's missing scroll. The sect's origin is told in an opening flashback; after that, the movie takes place in the present. Alas, instead of becoming more intriguing, the plot gets sillier. Good location and story idea, poor execution and use of resources.

*** The Order (12/13/01) Sheldon Lettich ~ Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sofia Milos, Brian Thompson
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