7/10
Once upon a time, On a sad Valentine, There's a place known as Hanniger mines...
8 June 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The 1980's was and remains one of the most controversial time periods in the history of the horror genre. On one hand; it saw the birth of several of the genre's greatest films and many of the most entertaining films that still have historical significance. On the other, the genre was dominated by the slasher genre so much that the cycle became old virtually overnight, leading some to gloss over some worthwhile films and for bad films to get elevated to classic status in later years.

'My Bloody Valentine' may not be a masterpiece, but it has enough distinguishing elements to make it a nice hidden gem of it's sub-genre. It's proved to be a delight for many a insomnia-stricken devotee of obscure horror films searching for a nice late-night horror film to divert ourselves with, and this is perfect. The film could be summed up as a mix of 'Screaming Mimi', 'Halloween' and 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'.

The setting is a dismal Canadian mining town(filled with the kind of accents later parodied to death on 'South Park') known as Valentine bluffs, overshadowed by the Hanniger mines, both supposedly haunted by a vengeful miner who was wronged by lazy foremen who were attending a valentine's dance and following an unforgettable, almost dreamlike sequence dripping with bizarre sexual subtext and macabre humor that opens the film; the film's tone is set with an introduction to the leads emerging from a mine shaft as one miner remarks that any day the entire mine is gonna blow, but no one heeds his warning and races off laughing to country music while the clouds close over the town ominously, as if the cheerfulness is about to be swallowed up by an encroaching evil. It's not much, but it beats just about every other '80's slasher film at establishing mood.

None of the actors could seriously be called great, but they do their jobs well enough to establish the usual paper-thin characters with personality. Not too much, but enough for the viewer to feel that a life has been taken, and not that they just witnessed some lame FX showcase; a particularly memorable scene involves the girlfriend of the comedy-relief character going into shock upon finding his corpse as the killer is approaching. A scene that's hard to forget anytime soon. Even the obligatory helpless adults seemed genuinely concerned and use common sense; with the Sheriff being a !GASP! likable character! Corrupt cops can be funny, but it's refreshing to see a competent one in these films. The two protagonist's of the film who are caught in a love triangle with the heroine also overcome weak dialog and minimal characterization through sheer emotion; enough so that both work as red herring characters, but still have good points and bad points that would make it believable if either was the killer. A nice touch lost in the remake, where the character who functions as the hero is very unlikeable and the character revealed as the killer engenders viewer sympathy.

About the killer, the image of a madman in a mining suit with a pickax as a weapon is definitely an unforgettable visual, leading to several memorable 'bus' sequences. The back story behind the original killer is also quite creative. It would work well enough to carry a film on it's own or serve as an EC. comic plot.

The final scene where the second killer wanders off into the mine spouting some of the most convincingly psychotic dialog I've ever heard while uttering a laugh guaranteed to freeze your blood, while simultaneously a country ballad begins to play over the credits is fairly sublime. Whether he returns or not, he will end up just like the original killer; a legend lost in the mists of time: 'And no one will knowww, as the years come and goooo, of the horror, from long time agoooo'. Brilliant.

Go in with fairly limited expectations, a sense of humor, and 'My Bloody Valentine' will prove a fun experience, certainly more satisfying than the more famous 'Friday the 13th' films. The remake doesn't have much to recommend except for it's now useless 3-D gimmick; but watch that in a similar frame of mind, and you may enjoy that as well, despite having a disappointing climax and an awful Shamaylan-style cheat. When the 14th draws near, watch this film on a double feature with the 'Poetic Justice' segment from Francis's 'Tales from the Crypt'(1972), and the remake if you enjoy that, throw the god awful 2001 film 'Valentine' in the fireplace to keep warm, curl up with some caramels and you'll find this film the perfect alternative to one of the world's sh*ttiest holidays. I can guarantee you a good time.
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