Picture in your mind how the actor who did the voice of Frosty the Snowman might have looked. Now imagine that guy having dry-hump sex with random hookers ('Frosty' grunts and groans included), killing and dismembering them, and then cooking them up in the world's most ridiculously huge microwave oven. Or, you can skip that mental exercise and rent this film.
MICROWAVE is light on actual gore but the one-liners are so corny and wooden you'll have plenty of blood shooting from your ears in no time. Here's an example: "I call this dish 'Peking Chick'" WOW.
60-year old Jackie Vernon as the lead delivers his lines with Teddy Ruxpin-like painful deliberateness and all the charisma and sexiness of creamed beef at the senior center buffet. Vernon was a comedian with a trademark deadpan style but he's matched to a script with the comedic depth of a DVD Player's instruction manual. Throw in some editing that appears to have been done with a lighter and a can of hairspray and Vernon doesn't have a chance of making this one funny.
MICROWAVE features a few ridiculous gags and setups, like a naked girl who gets slathered with mayo, covered with a giant piece of wonder bread and then sawed in half. It tries to be fun and light yet is so completely inept it can't even manage self-deprecation without revealing it's low IQ. It's like when the fat kid intentionally trips in gym class to make everyone laugh but ends up hurting himself for real. You don't know whether to laugh, feel sorry for him, or heck, give him a good kick while he's already down. My money is on door number 3. Definitely in the "so bad it's good" universe of films and requires a number of intoxicants coupled with a complete absence of self-respect to wade through.
MICROWAVE is light on actual gore but the one-liners are so corny and wooden you'll have plenty of blood shooting from your ears in no time. Here's an example: "I call this dish 'Peking Chick'" WOW.
60-year old Jackie Vernon as the lead delivers his lines with Teddy Ruxpin-like painful deliberateness and all the charisma and sexiness of creamed beef at the senior center buffet. Vernon was a comedian with a trademark deadpan style but he's matched to a script with the comedic depth of a DVD Player's instruction manual. Throw in some editing that appears to have been done with a lighter and a can of hairspray and Vernon doesn't have a chance of making this one funny.
MICROWAVE features a few ridiculous gags and setups, like a naked girl who gets slathered with mayo, covered with a giant piece of wonder bread and then sawed in half. It tries to be fun and light yet is so completely inept it can't even manage self-deprecation without revealing it's low IQ. It's like when the fat kid intentionally trips in gym class to make everyone laugh but ends up hurting himself for real. You don't know whether to laugh, feel sorry for him, or heck, give him a good kick while he's already down. My money is on door number 3. Definitely in the "so bad it's good" universe of films and requires a number of intoxicants coupled with a complete absence of self-respect to wade through.