Review of Bloody Birthday

This is a really dumb, entirely suspenseless, early 80's slasher movie that takes itself way too seriously. Largely an oddity, "Bloody Birthday" differentiates itself from other slasher flatsom by having its killers all adolescents. Sounds good...but unfortunately, it really isn't. Aside from some eclectic casting (e.g. Joe Penny of "Riptide" and "Jake & the Fatman" fame) and a seemingly risky premise, "Bloody Birthday" is terminally average. Expect 4-5 entirely tame murders, a couple topless scenes, and an abandoned mystery subplot, which builds throughout the film's first half, only to be completely discarded later. (Likely due to poor editing). Anyhow, the child acting is surprisingly decent, but the film suffers from an essentially worthless story and a pervasive disdain for realism. (There is something distractingly unrealistic in almost every scene). It isn't ever really funny and it certainly isn't scary, which leaves one ineffectually indifferent. I wasn't completely bored with this movie, I guess, but I couldn't help but see how low the aim was. In the end, I'd say "Bloody Birthday" is like polenta. It sounds exotic at first, but it turns out being really bland. It isn't terrible or gross or anything; its actually quite edible. However, I doubt it'll be anybody's favorite. ---|--- Reviews by Flak Magnet