Review of Kolobos

Kolobos (1999)
6/10
Sudden death: just what Big Brother's been missing!
2 October 2009
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has thought that the installation of deadly booby traps into the next Big Brother house would be an interesting idea: it would certainly help the show's falling ratings if Davina's irritating, fame-hungry contestants died horribly live on TV (hey, maybe they're going to do that for the final series next year... y'know, go out in style).

Well, in Kolobos, that's exactly what happens—a group of young hopefuls enter a plush, Big Brother style house to take part in an experimental film, but become trapped and meet gruesome fates as they accidentally activate spring loaded circular saw blades, acid showers, and ankle mangling pincers, before being finished off by a mysterious killer known as Kolobos. At first it seems as though the director of the project has tricked the house-mates into becoming the unwitting stars of a snuff film, but when he also meets a sticky fate, suspicion falls on contestant Kyra (Amy Weber), a mentally disturbed 'artist' (I use quote-marks because her drawings are crap!) who sketches twisted images, and suffers from terrifying visions.

For the most part, this is an entertaining affair which reminds me a little of the British horror movie My Little Eye; the trouble is that Kolobos decides to get a little clever for its own good, adding a large dose of psychological/split identity guff (ala John Cusack thriller Identity) and becoming all too confusing in the process. By the end of the film, I was unsure as to who the killer was or whether the events shown had ever actually happened.

Was there really a faceless monster named Kolobos stalking the house? Was Kyra the murderer? Or had she conjured the whole thing up in her mind as a test run for the Real McCoy? And whilst I'm raising awkward questions, how the hell does someone go about converting a large, suburban property into an escape proof, metal clad prison without someone questioning your motives? And am I the only one who reckons that the film's music rips-off Suspiria's soundtrack?

Anyway, despite all of the unanswered questions, general confusion, and ambiguity, I still had a reasonably good time with this film: the girls are cute (Weber has the beautiful weirdo thing down pat, and Promise LaMarco, as ditzy Tina, is blessed with a lovely set of dimples); the gore is impressively nasty; and directors Daniel Liatowitsch and David Todd Ocvirk manage to deliver enough effective scares and creepy atmosphere to make it fun while it lasts.
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