"Love Hotel--Full Service"
4 December 2009
This is the story of a shy virgin who eventually becomes a "superstud". The lead is Christian Borreomo, who was one of those impossibly good-looking Italian pretty-boys (kind of in the mold of Allessandro Oranio). Guys like that are always popular with women, but in an additional conceit of this movie, he's also apparently hung like a stallion. This kind of begs the question of why he's still a virgin, but of course he doesn't stay one for long! After being caught in a compromising situation with the improbably sexy family maid (who also happens to also be his father's mistress), he is sent to live with his religious grandmother and help run her hotel. There he soon becomes the resident stud to all the improbably attractive women that come to stay there.

Some of the actresses here are a little Amazonian for my taste like Marina D'Auno or Ajita Wilson (the latter, an African-American, was reputedly once a man), or they are downright annoying like the loud, chirpy woman with the dog. They all have very nice bodies though and would seem highly unlikely to need a stud service, (but then it also seems highly unlikely that the downright effeminate Borromeo would be packing such "heavy equipment", so you just have to go with it). The only girl here who is actually prettier than Borromeo is Lory Del Santos, who plays the daughter of a friend of his grandmother. He first spies her running on the beach (weirdly dressed in what can only be described as a butt-clinging teddy), and they later play a game of erotic footsies under the table that gets her so hot she (or her body double) goes into the next room to masturbate while Borromeo watches for awhile (but then ends up getting his knob slobbed by another female dinner guest who witnessed the whole thing). Del Santos was not much of an actress (and she's really terrible here, truth be told), but she became somewhat well-known after the child she had with rock star Eric Clapton tragically fell from the couple's Manhattan apartment building (inspiring Clapton's song "Tears in Heaven").

This movie came kind of came late in the 70's era of commedia all'Italia, so it goes beyond the tame cheesecake nudity of Edwige Fenech or Gloria Guida-type sex comedies to be a little more "sexy" (and by that I mean a little more sleazy). Some scenes are pretty sexy like when the protagonist has sex on the roof with the married Marina D'Auno while her father-confessor and his grandmother wander around below. Others are less so such as when he has sex with Wilson while her perverted husband watches. And, of course, some are downright tasteless like when the hero helps out the horny, butt-pinching Italian stereotype of a bellboy, who has a crush on the "negra", by moving over, Rover, and letting him take over while he and Wilson are having doggie-style sex. But the ending does try (rather unsuccessfully) to sweeten up such sleaze.

This isn't a bad movie per se, but Borremeo is simply miscast, it errs too much on side of sleazy, and none of the female cast really has that right combination of sex appeal and talent.
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