3/10
The Dialogue That Dare Not Speak Its Lines
9 February 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This film leads to a lot of questions . Looking at the message board on this page several people are asking when this film was released while people who've actually seen THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY are now asking why it was released . I'm actually a combination of the two . I'm wondering why it was produced and when it is set . Apparently the story starts with Dorian's grandfather coming home from a hard days work building atomic bombs and then killing his daughter . I'm just sort of curious where abouts in the Victorian world there was an atomic weapons project . Worse still in a fit of angst and guilt it was this led to Dorian's grandfather killing himself and his daughter " Who'd have thought that the smallest thing in creation would kill the most number of people " Hmmmm well since the film ignores any sense of time and setting I think it's only fair neutrinos are smaller than atoms whilst firearms have killed far more people than atomic bombs . So have machetes in fact . If you're going to play hard and loose with science and history you're leaving yourself open to all sorts of counterattacks

As bad as the obvious and anrachronisms are such as atomic bombs and modern day cars and clothing that keep appearing from scene to scene it's probably the acting and dialogue that makes the film so irritating . . Some people have complained that Basil has become female but it wouldn't be nearly as bad if Rainer Judd had

1 ) A decent line

2 ) Gave the impression that she might have attended an acting class

Both the dialogue and the performances are dire from all the cast . Hands up anyone who' had a conversation similar to this ?

" A realism that is vulgar "

" But it's the lack of realism that is vulgar "

Or

" Passion embraces your lips with its hideous fire "

I'm not exactly reminded of Oscar Wilde with these lines or indeed William Goldman or Robert Towne . More like someone who thinks they're being clever by writing the most stilted lines possible . In fact I'd call it " The dialogue that dare not speak its lines "

A cinematic story with an eponymous character is often carried by the lead and unfortunately Josh Duhamel doesn't carry it off very well . He comes across as a good natured Guy Pearce appearing at some provincial theater rather than a haunted character from a Victorian novel . The most unlucky cast member though is Ms Judd who hasn't made any more movies since this one . It'd be difficult to believe she got offered worse scripts than this one
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