The Tattooist (2007)
3/10
Has the quality of a good Sci-Fi Channel Original... *very mild spoiler*
3 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
A boring tattooist with the personality of a dead animal becomes cursed by an evil spirit for misusing his tattooing career. …At least, that's what we're lead to believe, but then the story sort of shifts away from that and becomes a cliché ghost story.

There are a few decent ideas wrapped up in here. There's some slick set design, decent camera work, and an interesting visual or two. That's where my compliments end.

You can probably assume most of my reasons for hating this film based on my plot description. The character is boring as hell. There's absolutely nothing interesting about him. The actor portrays fear well enough, and might have been capable of expressing an interesting character, but the script didn't provide one. A love story gets wedged in there too. I NEVER complain about chemistry between lovers in movies… but in this case, I will make a girly exception and say that these two people didn't have any reason to give a crap about each other, aside from a compatible set of reproductive organs. Two boring people have boring interactions and suddenly screw each other. It seemed forced, sudden, and unnecessary. Perhaps they should have spent more time developing the characters, rather than having every single person prattle off historical facts about tattoos. Seriously, we don't care.

The trailers and plot synopsis suckered me in with some seemingly original and cool concepts, but as written above, this simply ended up being another cliché whodunit ghost story. Screw that. That's not at all what I bought this movie for.

The score is terrible. Some of the best moments in the film are completely ruined by a crappy, cheap-sounding soundtrack. The rap music didn't sit well with me either. It was annoying and it just didn't fit.

The only reason I would ever recommend this film is so you can laugh at the hilariously out-of-place scene involving the fat ethnic kid who can communicate with the dead when he rides in a fast car and blasts rap music loud enough. You think I'm kidding… but that seriously happens.

Someone got a decent idea to start with, but then they were lazy about every other aspect of the production after that point. The writing is lazy, the characters are lame as hell, the score sucks, and there are some ridiculous moments that just don't fit. The overall presentation is as about as compelling as the hair on my scrotum.
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