Quicksand is the sort of cheap hunk of rubbish that you have to do if you're a working actor. For those fortunate performers who land the lead role on a network TV show or manage to string a couple of big movie paychecks together, they have the financial security to say "no" to awkward, stumbling hodgepodges like Quicksand. For just about everyone else, there are times when they have bills to pay and the only job they're being offered is in something they know they'll regret doing. I'm not sure what financial bind Richard Kind, Dan Hedaya or Brooke Theiss were in that made them agree to be in this movie, but I hope that at least their checks didn't bounce.
Set on a U.S. Marine base in Arizona, this film focuses on Captain Bill Turner (Michael Dudikoff), a psychiatrist called in to work with General Stewart's (Dan Hedaya) rebellious daughter. A Marine officer herself, Randi (Brooke Theiss) has caused a scandal and rather than see her court martialed, General Stewart wants her to be given a Section 8 and quietly drummed out of the service. But when General Stewart is murdered, Bill and Randi find themselves caught up in an ill-defined scheme involving political corruption, medical malfeasance and a little incest to top it all off. Assisted by a Marine criminal investigator (Richard Kind), Bill and Randi have to avoid some of the most inept bad guys in the history of cinema and reveal the truth.
Quicksand is a stark reminder of how bad low-budget movies used to look. With modern equipment and a little imagination, today's filmmakers can largely disguise not having much money for their production. 20 years or more ago, however, it was very noticeable when a film couldn't afford decent sets, costumes or even more basic things like lighting. Quicksand may have been made in 2002, but it looks like it jumped into a time machine and was produced in 1976 for about $327. It was apparently filmed at a retirement community or country club with homemade signs and banners strung up in a feeble attempt to make it look like a military base. Many of the military uniforms worn in the film appear to have been stitched together by someone's grandma. There's a scene between Michael Dudikoff and Richard Kind where the lighting is so bad, the two men don't even appear to be on the same planet, let alone in the same room. Most of the extras resemble illegal immigrants picked up in the morning outside Home Depot. At least 4 of the minor speaking roles were done by actors so appalling, their dialog was redubbed with someone else's voice. This movie is so cheap, these filmmakers couldn't even pay attention. There's a scene with Dan Hedaya where one moment his face is sweating like a pig and the next it's dry as a bone.
In addition to the overall bargain basement nature of Quicksand, these filmmakers don't display any significant skill in anything. There are bad camera angles, horrible staging, scenes that go on and on until the actors basically wander out of frame, a chase scene that is more ridiculous than your average Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote cartoon and a soundtrack that was evidently composed by a cat walking across a Casio keyboard.
Amidst all that dreck, there are a couple of good acting jobs on display here. It's interesting to watch Richard Kind try and amuse himself when he's on screen and a rather pretty Brooke Theiss gives her all to a poorly written role that swings her from vixen to victim to loony and back again. On the other hand, Michael Dudikoff is a stump with a hairdo that looks like the most expensive thing in the entire production and Douglas Weston, as Randi's politician brother, gives a performance that makes you think he's a key grip that got the role when the real actor quit on the first day of shooting.
If there was a decent amount of nudity in Quicksand, it might have been able to pass itself off as trashy fun. With everyone remaining completely clothed at all times, it can't even achieve that meager level of entertainment. This is the second bad movie I've reviewed with the title of "Quicksand" and this one is worse than the first. If there's a third Quicksand film out there that's even worse than this one, I don't think I ever want to see it because I'm afraid it would make my eyes bleed.
Set on a U.S. Marine base in Arizona, this film focuses on Captain Bill Turner (Michael Dudikoff), a psychiatrist called in to work with General Stewart's (Dan Hedaya) rebellious daughter. A Marine officer herself, Randi (Brooke Theiss) has caused a scandal and rather than see her court martialed, General Stewart wants her to be given a Section 8 and quietly drummed out of the service. But when General Stewart is murdered, Bill and Randi find themselves caught up in an ill-defined scheme involving political corruption, medical malfeasance and a little incest to top it all off. Assisted by a Marine criminal investigator (Richard Kind), Bill and Randi have to avoid some of the most inept bad guys in the history of cinema and reveal the truth.
Quicksand is a stark reminder of how bad low-budget movies used to look. With modern equipment and a little imagination, today's filmmakers can largely disguise not having much money for their production. 20 years or more ago, however, it was very noticeable when a film couldn't afford decent sets, costumes or even more basic things like lighting. Quicksand may have been made in 2002, but it looks like it jumped into a time machine and was produced in 1976 for about $327. It was apparently filmed at a retirement community or country club with homemade signs and banners strung up in a feeble attempt to make it look like a military base. Many of the military uniforms worn in the film appear to have been stitched together by someone's grandma. There's a scene between Michael Dudikoff and Richard Kind where the lighting is so bad, the two men don't even appear to be on the same planet, let alone in the same room. Most of the extras resemble illegal immigrants picked up in the morning outside Home Depot. At least 4 of the minor speaking roles were done by actors so appalling, their dialog was redubbed with someone else's voice. This movie is so cheap, these filmmakers couldn't even pay attention. There's a scene with Dan Hedaya where one moment his face is sweating like a pig and the next it's dry as a bone.
In addition to the overall bargain basement nature of Quicksand, these filmmakers don't display any significant skill in anything. There are bad camera angles, horrible staging, scenes that go on and on until the actors basically wander out of frame, a chase scene that is more ridiculous than your average Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote cartoon and a soundtrack that was evidently composed by a cat walking across a Casio keyboard.
Amidst all that dreck, there are a couple of good acting jobs on display here. It's interesting to watch Richard Kind try and amuse himself when he's on screen and a rather pretty Brooke Theiss gives her all to a poorly written role that swings her from vixen to victim to loony and back again. On the other hand, Michael Dudikoff is a stump with a hairdo that looks like the most expensive thing in the entire production and Douglas Weston, as Randi's politician brother, gives a performance that makes you think he's a key grip that got the role when the real actor quit on the first day of shooting.
If there was a decent amount of nudity in Quicksand, it might have been able to pass itself off as trashy fun. With everyone remaining completely clothed at all times, it can't even achieve that meager level of entertainment. This is the second bad movie I've reviewed with the title of "Quicksand" and this one is worse than the first. If there's a third Quicksand film out there that's even worse than this one, I don't think I ever want to see it because I'm afraid it would make my eyes bleed.