Dragnet 1967: The Grenade (1967)
Season 2, Episode 1
7/10
You've Got Ten Seconds To Run.
11 July 2010
Warning: Spoilers
One of the better episodes. It has the same comforting ritualistic quality as the others. "It was Wednesday, October 6th. It was sunny in Los Angeles. We were working the day watch out of Juvenile." Well. Maybe it was cool and overcast in Los Angeles. I'm not sure of the weather. I'm sure of the date, October 6th, because it's the anniversary of my cataract operation.

Gerald Paulson (Mickey Sholdar) is picked up after having poured H2SO4 on the back of another high school kid in the movies. H2SO4 -- that's sulfuric acid to you and me. The victim is Jan Michael Vincent in an early role. John Rubenstein has a small role too.

Paulson is very polite and somewhat remorseful when he's interrogated by Friday and Gannon. And why not? Friday is Jack Webb, he of the pronounced nasolingual folds, and he has lines like, "Okay, now you listen to me, fella." That would intimidate anyone.

The problem is that this Gerald Paulson is a phony. He's not remorseful at all, and when his step-father tries to impose some discipline on him -- telling him to clean his chemistry set out of the garage (why?) -- Paulson goes on a rampage, gets hold of a live hand grenade, crashes the party of a girl who has snubbed him, and holds the guests hostage. His finger is through the grenade's pin. The kid makes everyone listen to a record of raucous pop music. He sneers when Friday says, "Now, son, you just hand that over to me."

It's a tricky deal, I'll tell you. Ordinarily a script like this calls for an illegal hand gun but here we have a grenade. It's all Friday and Gannon can do to disarm the kid -- who blames Friday for his having pulled the pin. "You made me do it," he claims.

So, you ask, why do kids like this go wrong? During a deep philosophical discussion, Friday advances what he calls his "sour theory." Some kids are just born bad and a good environment makes no difference. Gannon, on the other hand, is a behaviorist who has apparently been reading George Lakoff because he comes up with the stern parent metaphor. Kids are given too much say, too early in life. Not enough discipline.

Actually, their positions aren't in conflict. They're both probably partly right. I'd get into this in more detail. But I can't right now. I've just finished watching this episode and I'm a frame of mind that calls for short, pithy sentences. "Huh?", you say. Well, listen to me, fella. Nobody can put a complex idea into an apothegm. Unless he's Oscar Wilde. And, Mister, I'm not Oscar Wilde.
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