Review of Goblin

Goblin (2010 TV Movie)
5/10
Awful
9 October 2010
I really wanted to like this film, and I did sit through all of it to give it the benefit of the doubt. But it just doesn't measure up.

For a while I thought maybe it was best viewed as a horror-comedy, but it doesn't have enough comedy, and all of it seems to be actually unintentional, rather than sort of ironic.

The cast is cute, so that's a plus. In particular, Brett Dier seems to be going for a young Ryan Phillippe look, which he carries off well. Unfortunately, Ryan at that age had an agent/manager who cared which films he appeared in, and Brett doesn't.

For a horror-slasher type film, I think we're long past caring whether the writing makes any sense. It's the directing and special effects that torpedo this film. The monster looks and acts ridiculous, and could have been animated using 1990s technology. And if the "loud-noise-plus-sudden-close-up-repeat-twice" technique wasn't already cliché, it certainly was by the time this film was over.

Why do British Columbia and Canada whore themselves out for these pathetic films? They are surely capable of quality work. Is film make-work welfare that important instead? When will people realize that if you're eager to put your name to garbage, you shouldn't expect anybody to ask you to make something worth making. Think long-term, guys.
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