There are different expressions and feelings one has when he comes out of a theater after watching a film. At times I am thinking, at times smiling, at times in awe of what I just saw and at times thanking myself for not being one of the characters. When I came out of the houseful theater on the first day second show of Tees Maar Khan (TMK), the only emotion I had was anger. Sheer anger. I felt cheated and betrayed and disappointed. This is going to be the worst review I will ever write for a movie.
Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om did not go too well with me either and I am not too agreed with the Farah Khan way of filmmaking but TMK still managed to shock me. Farah is a fantastic choreographer but as a director, she just killed a cine-goer inside me. The best thing about this two and a half hour was the promo of 'No One Killed Jessica'. I am so looking forward to that.
Apparently an official remake of After the Fox, TMK is a story (if it can be called a story) of a con artist pretending to be a film director to put his hands on 10 tons of precious antiques. During this process you come across
Three Gay partners of TMK: I don't know why they act gay but they do. Probably it was supposed to be funny. Two Gay cops chasing TMK: they don't act gay; they are gays and they even hint at marrying each other. Three Gay villagers: they become friends with Katrina Kaif and she calls them girls. Twin Criminal brothers: and they are not just twins, they are conjoined twins. Not to forget, they wear gay clothes and act gay too.
With all this overdose of gay jokes, there are idiotic police officers trying to nail TMK down and they crack unbelievably horrible jokes. There is TMK's mother who is slightly better than the rest when it comes to being funny.
The film starts with a lousy animated title song of a baby in the mother's womb and he has his eye brow pierced even then. In the time when special effects have gone to a new level, TMK brings a basic animation which makes you wonder where the film is headed to.
Songs come out of nowhere and are forcefully fitted in to the scenes. The overly hyped Sheila comes and goes in the first fifteen minutes. A scene finishes and TMK decides to call his friend Salman Khan of Dabangg for a song and dance. Are you serious? The choreography, however, is good. 'Wallah Re Wallah' and 'Bade Dil Wala' were enjoyable.
The film has Akshay Khanna as Aatish Kapoor in the worst possible supporting actor role. He plays a film actor who wants to win Oscar just like Anil Kapoor did for Slumdog. Interestingly, Anil never won an Oscar for that film. Aatish also comes up with his own version of Jai Ho called 'Day Ho'. Yes, Day as in DAY TIME. He thinks it's funny and dances on this song with great zeal. He is probably mocking Saif Ali Khan because he is also seen in a Saif like bandana.
Katrina Kaif has lost a lot of weight and looks good with her navel show throughout the film. She is one actress who follows the director's brief to the tee because she knows she is not talented enough to improvise. Here too, she seems to be following the director's brief and overacts as much as possible. Actually, she overacts more than it's humanly possible for any actress.
Actress, I said, because Akshay Kumar is also there. What was he thinking? I have no idea. To start with, 50% of the times he also acts gay and delivers his dialog with lady-like hand movement and voice. Mostly when he is playing the movie director. It seems to be deliberate a take on Karan Johar though. Here is an actor who was touching the pinnacle of his career a year back with highest grossing and enjoyable films but since Singh is King he has come up with one dud after another.
The less said about Farah the better it is. My main culprit, however, is Shirish Kunder. Mr. Kunder is trying to pull up a one-man-show here. He is the writer, editor, lyricist and even the producer of TMK. As an editor, he has a credible history but as a writer his previous work is 'Jaan-e-man' which he also directed. That Akshay starrer was also a pretty lousy show. I would strongly suggest Mr. Kunder to remain in his limits i.e. editing.
TMK is likely to have a 50 crore opening weekend which has so far been achieved only by Dabangg. It will be a shame if it grosses more than Dabangg did because Dabangg was a very highly entertaining effort. TMK will for sure recover its cost and make profits for the producers (which is unfair) but I don't expect it to do well with audience in the second week onwards.
I go to the cinema with the expectations to at least get value for my money and time. In that regard, TEES MAAR KHAN is not a movie. It's a CRIME and the people behind it need to be punished in such a way that it becomes example for others attempting to create such a shame.
Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om did not go too well with me either and I am not too agreed with the Farah Khan way of filmmaking but TMK still managed to shock me. Farah is a fantastic choreographer but as a director, she just killed a cine-goer inside me. The best thing about this two and a half hour was the promo of 'No One Killed Jessica'. I am so looking forward to that.
Apparently an official remake of After the Fox, TMK is a story (if it can be called a story) of a con artist pretending to be a film director to put his hands on 10 tons of precious antiques. During this process you come across
Three Gay partners of TMK: I don't know why they act gay but they do. Probably it was supposed to be funny. Two Gay cops chasing TMK: they don't act gay; they are gays and they even hint at marrying each other. Three Gay villagers: they become friends with Katrina Kaif and she calls them girls. Twin Criminal brothers: and they are not just twins, they are conjoined twins. Not to forget, they wear gay clothes and act gay too.
With all this overdose of gay jokes, there are idiotic police officers trying to nail TMK down and they crack unbelievably horrible jokes. There is TMK's mother who is slightly better than the rest when it comes to being funny.
The film starts with a lousy animated title song of a baby in the mother's womb and he has his eye brow pierced even then. In the time when special effects have gone to a new level, TMK brings a basic animation which makes you wonder where the film is headed to.
Songs come out of nowhere and are forcefully fitted in to the scenes. The overly hyped Sheila comes and goes in the first fifteen minutes. A scene finishes and TMK decides to call his friend Salman Khan of Dabangg for a song and dance. Are you serious? The choreography, however, is good. 'Wallah Re Wallah' and 'Bade Dil Wala' were enjoyable.
The film has Akshay Khanna as Aatish Kapoor in the worst possible supporting actor role. He plays a film actor who wants to win Oscar just like Anil Kapoor did for Slumdog. Interestingly, Anil never won an Oscar for that film. Aatish also comes up with his own version of Jai Ho called 'Day Ho'. Yes, Day as in DAY TIME. He thinks it's funny and dances on this song with great zeal. He is probably mocking Saif Ali Khan because he is also seen in a Saif like bandana.
Katrina Kaif has lost a lot of weight and looks good with her navel show throughout the film. She is one actress who follows the director's brief to the tee because she knows she is not talented enough to improvise. Here too, she seems to be following the director's brief and overacts as much as possible. Actually, she overacts more than it's humanly possible for any actress.
Actress, I said, because Akshay Kumar is also there. What was he thinking? I have no idea. To start with, 50% of the times he also acts gay and delivers his dialog with lady-like hand movement and voice. Mostly when he is playing the movie director. It seems to be deliberate a take on Karan Johar though. Here is an actor who was touching the pinnacle of his career a year back with highest grossing and enjoyable films but since Singh is King he has come up with one dud after another.
The less said about Farah the better it is. My main culprit, however, is Shirish Kunder. Mr. Kunder is trying to pull up a one-man-show here. He is the writer, editor, lyricist and even the producer of TMK. As an editor, he has a credible history but as a writer his previous work is 'Jaan-e-man' which he also directed. That Akshay starrer was also a pretty lousy show. I would strongly suggest Mr. Kunder to remain in his limits i.e. editing.
TMK is likely to have a 50 crore opening weekend which has so far been achieved only by Dabangg. It will be a shame if it grosses more than Dabangg did because Dabangg was a very highly entertaining effort. TMK will for sure recover its cost and make profits for the producers (which is unfair) but I don't expect it to do well with audience in the second week onwards.
I go to the cinema with the expectations to at least get value for my money and time. In that regard, TEES MAAR KHAN is not a movie. It's a CRIME and the people behind it need to be punished in such a way that it becomes example for others attempting to create such a shame.