DeepStar Six (1989)
1/10
Groan.
17 January 2011
This is first and foremost, a B movie. It's a hastily made movie trying to ride the coat-tails of Abyss' hype... and it shows.

First, the plot: basically, just an excuse to get a strange hungry creature on board an underwater facility with some terrified humans. From then on, it all unfolds as linearly as you'd expect, with force clichés thrown in; some scenes directly borrowed from other poor movies: the very last scene, for instance, mirrors exactly the groan-inducing end of Jaws 4.

To seal the deal on a terrible script, quite a few events are completely unexplained. Don't worry, you'll easily predict them, not because they logically follow (they don't), but because they're stereotypical horror movie tropes, badly executed.

Next, the creature. The real meat of this kind of movies! Expect disappointment. It looks sillier than scary, moves excruciatingly slowly (on camera; off-camera, it moves extremely fast, maybe it's just shy?) and spends more time posturing (and roaring) in front of the humans than actively attacking them. One never sees it whole, but its head and torso have more screen time than the rest of the cast combined.

Finally, the effects. Strong effects can do a whole lot to redeem an otherwise bad movie, DeepStar Six doesn't have those. DeepStar Six compensate for lack of effects with pure gore, in B-movie tradition. Gratuitous gore.

DeepStar Six isn't enjoyable. The script is just painful; the creature arbitrary and uncharismatic; the intense scenes dull and slow.
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