Exactly what is that makes Troll 2 so bad? Could it be the atrocious acting? The cringeworthy dialogue? The costumes that look as though they came from the Halloween section at K-Mart? The bizarre yet unintentional homosexual subtext? The unexplained disappearance of certain characters? The fact that the monsters who terrorize the heroes in this movie are referred to as goblins not trolls? I could go on and on...
I never saw the first Troll movie, but I'm told that you don't need to see it as the two films are connected in name only. Troll 2 is a rather simple story about the suburban Waits family who decide to exchange houses with a farm family in the town of Nilbog (I'm sure everyone knows the genius behind this name by now). How or why they made such an arrangement is, of course, not explained, as are many other things to come later this film. This also coincides with the youngest son, Joshua's, late-night talks with his deceased Grandpa, who tells him stories about goblins that seek to turn humans into plants and eat them. Once they arrive in Nilbog, Grandpa Seth continuously warns Joshua that the town is inhabited by those very same goblins and he must stop his family from eating anything the Nilbogians offer them. Yes, this really is the plot.
Troll 2 was made by Italians with a limited knowledge of English. And it shows with every line of nonsense the characters spout. According to Italian logic, a kick to the groin can make you homosexual, it's healthy to completely forget about your loved ones once they pass on, ghosts can suffer from a bad sense of direction, tightening your belt can ease starvation, and the only song most people know or like is "Row Row Row Your Boat." Also, corn is apparently an aphrodisiac. I won't go in to the ridiculousness of the actual quotes; you can see most of them on this page.
The nonsensical dialogue is naturally accompanied by nonsensical behavior. A man running from the goblins (culminating in the legendary "They're eating her and then they're gonna eat me" scene) seeks refuge in the creepiest house he can find. Joshua stops his family from eating poisoned food by peeing on it and throwing Molotov cocktails at them. Teenage boys have no qualms about sleeping together half-naked. The citizens of Nilbog don't even try not to act suspicious yet no one ever questions their motives. Everyone is perfectly willing to consume spoiled milk and food covered in green slime without a second thought. The characters were so unbelievably stupid and blind that I often wondered why Joshua didn't just throw in the towel and let the Nilbogians eat his idiot family.
Well, you have bad dialogue and behavior that defies explanation. What's the next logical step? Get bad actors, of course! The actors in this film have admitted to how inexperienced they were and once again, it shows. The standouts in bad acting would have to be Mama Waits and sister Holly. The mother's bug-eyed expressions and flat line delivery makes her seem cold and distant and the actress portraying Holly wouldn't have gotten a part in one of my high school plays. On the other end of the spectrum you have the preacher, the shop owner, and of course, the deliciously hammy Creedence. These three, while by no means good actors, at least appear to be putting some effort into their performances. Creedence nearly steals every scene she's in, not that that's a difficult accomplishment. I wonder if she had fun making this movie because it sure looks like it.
I could go on about more of the negatives of this film: the cheap goblin costumes, the bargain basement special effects (the recycled lightning bolt being the most glaring one), the cheap and out-of-place music score, the ridiculous plot developments (the goblins are repelled by a bologna sandwich, Grandpa Seth does more dead than most people do alive, the contradictory twist ending), but it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. That and I only have 1000 words.
Overall, Troll 2 is one of the funnest, most inept horror films you'll ever see; so much so, that I'm sure somewhere the spirit of Ed Wood is looking down upon it and smiling. Maybe he can freeze time like Grandpa Seth so we can appreciate it that much longer.
I never saw the first Troll movie, but I'm told that you don't need to see it as the two films are connected in name only. Troll 2 is a rather simple story about the suburban Waits family who decide to exchange houses with a farm family in the town of Nilbog (I'm sure everyone knows the genius behind this name by now). How or why they made such an arrangement is, of course, not explained, as are many other things to come later this film. This also coincides with the youngest son, Joshua's, late-night talks with his deceased Grandpa, who tells him stories about goblins that seek to turn humans into plants and eat them. Once they arrive in Nilbog, Grandpa Seth continuously warns Joshua that the town is inhabited by those very same goblins and he must stop his family from eating anything the Nilbogians offer them. Yes, this really is the plot.
Troll 2 was made by Italians with a limited knowledge of English. And it shows with every line of nonsense the characters spout. According to Italian logic, a kick to the groin can make you homosexual, it's healthy to completely forget about your loved ones once they pass on, ghosts can suffer from a bad sense of direction, tightening your belt can ease starvation, and the only song most people know or like is "Row Row Row Your Boat." Also, corn is apparently an aphrodisiac. I won't go in to the ridiculousness of the actual quotes; you can see most of them on this page.
The nonsensical dialogue is naturally accompanied by nonsensical behavior. A man running from the goblins (culminating in the legendary "They're eating her and then they're gonna eat me" scene) seeks refuge in the creepiest house he can find. Joshua stops his family from eating poisoned food by peeing on it and throwing Molotov cocktails at them. Teenage boys have no qualms about sleeping together half-naked. The citizens of Nilbog don't even try not to act suspicious yet no one ever questions their motives. Everyone is perfectly willing to consume spoiled milk and food covered in green slime without a second thought. The characters were so unbelievably stupid and blind that I often wondered why Joshua didn't just throw in the towel and let the Nilbogians eat his idiot family.
Well, you have bad dialogue and behavior that defies explanation. What's the next logical step? Get bad actors, of course! The actors in this film have admitted to how inexperienced they were and once again, it shows. The standouts in bad acting would have to be Mama Waits and sister Holly. The mother's bug-eyed expressions and flat line delivery makes her seem cold and distant and the actress portraying Holly wouldn't have gotten a part in one of my high school plays. On the other end of the spectrum you have the preacher, the shop owner, and of course, the deliciously hammy Creedence. These three, while by no means good actors, at least appear to be putting some effort into their performances. Creedence nearly steals every scene she's in, not that that's a difficult accomplishment. I wonder if she had fun making this movie because it sure looks like it.
I could go on about more of the negatives of this film: the cheap goblin costumes, the bargain basement special effects (the recycled lightning bolt being the most glaring one), the cheap and out-of-place music score, the ridiculous plot developments (the goblins are repelled by a bologna sandwich, Grandpa Seth does more dead than most people do alive, the contradictory twist ending), but it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. That and I only have 1000 words.
Overall, Troll 2 is one of the funnest, most inept horror films you'll ever see; so much so, that I'm sure somewhere the spirit of Ed Wood is looking down upon it and smiling. Maybe he can freeze time like Grandpa Seth so we can appreciate it that much longer.