4/10
Something For The Monkeys
18 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
'Sands Of The Kalahari' appeared in the same year that brought us 'Flight Of The Phoenix'. Any who query why the former is less well known should simply listen to the scripts. 'Sands' is crap.

The idea is interesting enough. Though it's hardly new. In 1954 'The Purple Plain' featuring Gregory Peck presented a similar scenario in the Burmese wilderness.

This work has second-rate movie stamped all over it - despite having a character cast-list to die for. Stanley Baker heads (and directs) other British stalwarts Harry Andrews and Nigel Davenport. There's posh totty on offer in the form of Susanna York, International flavour is added by Theododore Bikel, whilst Hollywood fans are awarded the B-and-half-lister, Stuart Whitman. And - my - what a fine set of pects he's got.

It's rather the oppostie scenario of the 'Phoenix'. A tatty plane crashes in the desert. But this time it burns-up. The survivors have little food and water, and no German genius to turn to. They soon find a spring so water's no problem. Now food remains the issue. One man wanders off in search of help. Whitman's character turns ruthless survivalist anti-hero, and begins whittling the others down. Ms York's character plays true to her gender and sells out to the highest bidder - ie, strongest, most ruthless and most cunning.

This story had all the elements and characters of first-rate entertainment. However, it's completely let down by a lack of competent direction, poor character-realisation, sloppy editing and a script that fails to elicit any conflict or quotable dialogue worth hearing. There isn't a single one-liner in the whole show. The most believable exclamations come from baboons.

Both 'The Purple Plain' & the first 'Flight of the Phoenix' knock this into a cocked hat. And there's plenty of other much better lost-in-the-desert movies as well - 'Ice Cold In Alex' for example. This belongs in the 'Ashanti' bran-tub.

Not recommended.
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