'Beneath the Darkness' (1/10 Stars) makes me feel bad. In more ways than one. For instance, I feel I'm way too harsh on other movies when you see a beneath the soil film like this. An ohhh so creepy mortician that may or may not be involved in murder or ghosts? Talk about an awful script. One that's lazy, painful, soulless, generic and elementary that contains some of the most unrealistic and laughable dialogue written by someone who's never even met a teenager outside a John Hughes film. Hell, they included the obligatory 'Buffy' reference (in 2012) and had a high school sign with 'Home of the Mighty Tigers' floating about. This movie is so inept, so unconventionally bad, it has the bad guy drop a kid down a flight of stairs and then stomp on his head in front of a witness and the police, bypassing all that, you know, expensive CSI investigation of the freaking shoe-print, turn the other cheek sighting an "accident"? Not to mention the obvious conflict of interest: boy dies in mortician's home, so naturally, he'll tend to the dead kid. There should be a scale on bad acting, beginning at the bottom with 'Twilight' acting. This would join that group, but one can only feel: it's gotta get better right? Even if Dennis Quaid should know better. Right? This is beyond bad. It's not even 'Birdemic: Shock and Terror' bad where you can have fun. There is no fun in this mortician's story of a sixty cent plot.
Review of Beneath the Darkness
