Review of 7 Below

7 Below (2012)
1/10
God awful piece of @#*!
26 April 2012
I know I must have seen worse movies in my life but I honestly can't remember when. The writing and directing (especially the pacing of the story line) are unforgivable. Carraway should be blacklisted from the industry and I don't feel that that is being hyperbolic on my part at all. This guy should NEVER be allowed to make another movie. EVER. Did he learn anything about writing or filmmaking before he embarked on this project because it certainly doesn't appear that way. I am literally ANGRY about having watched this amateurish clap trap. No, wait, that's an insult to amateur filmmakers who undoubtedly could have done a better film than this. I imagine that a considerable portion of the movie's budget went into getting Kilmer and Rhames on board but it did little to help the quality of the film. In fact, I'd say either man likely gave the worst performance of his professional career. But what do you expect with Carraway's horrible writing and seeming inability to properly give his actors something to do in a scene other than stand looking at one another in wooden, lifeless poses. I "love" how he escalates the action only to bring it back down again in this sort of anti-climactic sine wave that rolls irritatingly along throughout the movie. One minute they're yelling at Jack, convinced he's out to get them, and the next everyone's just walking around the house again having poorly written conversations. As much as Carraway is to blame for this pile, the fact that someone green lit this movie is beyond me. I know a lot of studios put out these horrible, typically straight-to-DVD releases to make a quick buck, but seriously, can't you at least try not to make them suck so completely. In short, this is movie is an absolute insult to all struggling writers and filmmakers looking for their big breaks. They work hard everyday to create compelling, innovative new stories, and you let THIS guy make a movie?
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