Piranha 3DD (2012)
6/10
Only for those with an acquired taste, I thought it was great though.
10 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Piranha 3DD is set a year after the horrible events at lake Victoria where a once believed extinct species of Piranha ate lots of people, money grabbing businessman Chet (David Koechner) runs the Big Wet water-park with his stepdaughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) who both have differing opinions on how the park should be run. Meanwhile in an underground lake nearby yet more ferocious Piranha hatch & make their way in the local water system killing & eating anyone that wanders into the water. With the grand summer opening of Big Wet the park is going to be packed full of people looking to have a good time but the killer Piranha manage to feast on them after being sucked into the park through water pipes. The Piranha seem unstoppable as they tear their victims apart...

Directed by John Gulager, the son of veteran actor Clu Gulager who has a small role in this, I am sure the average person on the street will probably hate Piranha 3DD with it's stupidity, moronic character's, over the top gore, in jokes, film references & downright silliness but I have to say I really liked it & I am 100% serious when I make that statement. Every one of the 80 odd minutes that Pirahna 3DD lasts for is either gory, funny or downright stupid & there's never a dull moment if nothing else. It takes a special kind of person to appreciate a film like Piranha 3DD, I am that kind of person as I found the constant in jokes & references absolutely hilarious, seriously I just found this so funny & during the moments that were supposed to be funny as well. Any scene with David Hasselhoff is just brilliant, he makes fun of himself & his public image seemingly in good humour from a hotel room encounter with two gorgeous twenty something girls to his droll reaction to the carnage at the water-park as he states the obvious when he says 'once these moron's get out of the water the fish are hardly likely to follow them home' to a really funny send up of the Baywatch opening credits just after the closing credits here as a curious little bonus. In fact the film itself lasts for a mere 70 minutes yet the end credits last for 12 minutes with lots of outtakes including what looks like a couple of deleted scenes (the female life guard being strangled on her own whistle cord) & messing around by the cast & crew. The whole film is just so much fun to watch, from the first moments with the farting cow corpse to the scene in which Josh runs around with a Piranha clamped to the end of his penis before castrating himself to the young kid who gets his head bitten off at the very end. The more I think about Piranha 3DD the more I like it. There's plenty of gore although maybe not quite as much as the first & there's plenty of flesh on show with nude swimming pools & lots of horny teens wanting sex. Call me easily pleased but I laughed at the right places, I got just about all the in jokes & film references & enjoyed the film as a whole too as it has a reasonable if not exactly brilliant story, in fact the story is basically the same as the original Piranha (2010) but set in a water-park rather than a big lake & it's considerably more funny.

The special effects are alright, the CGI Piranha look okay but not much else & I can't believe they roar like Lions. Whose decision was that exactly? It's the aspect of Piranha 3DD that I thought ended up really lame. There's some gore here, there's plenty of blood & chewed up bodies, there's another severed penis as in the original & to go with all the blood there's lots of nudity on show. Blood & boobs, what more do you want? There's nothing particularly scary here, there's not much build-up of tension & you can guess what's going to happen but it's still great fun. There are lots of bad taste humour & tastelessness going on, a guy with a flapping Piranha stuck up his bum & the priceless line of dialogue where a woman says 'Josh cut of his penis because something came out of my vagina' which is surely one of the greatest lines ever spoken in a motion picture. Enough said. No-involved in the making of Piranha 3DD is taking it seriously so I suggest that anyone watching it doesn't either & just take it for what it is.

The IMDb says that Piranha 3DD had a budget of about $20,000,000 which it total rubbish, try about half that. Since I am blind in one eye I cannot watch films in 3D so I have no idea how effective it is here. Filmed in Wilmington in North Carolina. The cameos from Christopher Lloyd & Ving Rhames reprising their roles from the original are also pretty funny, especially Rhames & his gun legs which he borough by saving money from 'not buying any socks'! Gary Busey also has a small cameo at the start. The rest of the cast are OK, they were obviously chosen for their looks rather than their acting skills.

Piranha 3DD is a film that the majority of people will hate & despise, of that I have no doubt but for those of us who it was actually made for will probably love it. Sure, it constantly tries to appeal to the lowest common denominator with it's nudity, gore, nastiness & outright silly send-ups & gags but there's no harm in that. Is there?
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