Review of 7 Below

7 Below (2012)
2/10
You were right, Gaz... this is abysmal!
28 June 2012
There seems to have been some confusion about the meaning of the title to this film, with viewers quite understandably (but wrongly) assuming that it somehow relates to a sub-zero temperature. My understanding is that the number refers to the seven people that we see at the beginning of the film—the six people in the van, and the cashier at the garage—and that the word 'below' alludes to the perpetual 'hell' in which they are trapped, which in this instance is an eternity in the presence of Ving Rhames and Val Kilmer as they give possibly the worst performances of their careers.

Not that Rhames and Kilmer are the only ones at fault in this unmitigated supernatural disaster: the majority of the blame must go to writer/director Kevin Carraway, who clearly had no idea how to develop his script beyond its trite 'we're all doomed to repeat our torment forever' initial concept, the result of which is an hour and a half of utter nonsense (filled with terrible characters and risible dialogue). If the driving force behind the whole film is unable to adequately explain what the hell is going on, then what chance do the cast have? And, consequently, what chance do the viewers have? Suffice to say that the film is incredibly dull, very frustrating and leaves many questions unanswered, the most obvious being 'How the hell did this garbage ever get made?'.

N.B. Two of the prop newspapers have grammatical errors in their headlines; they couldn't even get that right!
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