Review of Absolon

Absolon (2003)
2/10
Absolonley BORING
10 November 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The only reason I can suggest watching this is that Kelly Brook (who posed for Playboy) is in it and she's quite a babe so it's fun to watch her strutting around in a tight top and tight pants but besides that, this film just doesn't cut it.

There's a fight scene at the end which is humorous in a pro-wrestling kind of way, you know: Good guy knocks bad guy out, good guy tries to diffuse bomb, bad guy gets up, whacks good guy over the back with a shovel, busts all his ribs, good guy passes out, bad guy grabs bomb turns his back on half-dead good guy, good guy crawls along floor in utter agony and grabs an electrical box and yanks electrical conduit which electrocutes bad guy because he just 'happens' to be standing on the two hot leads at the other end of the 30 ft. conduit! MY GOD, who thinks this stuff up?? Somebody's 8 year old son? And why do these people never just shoot each other with the gun that's lying on the counter top the whole time? And then if that's not bad enough, the good guy gets up and walks out the door like nothings happened, no limping, moaning, nothing. Of course after this, he meets Kelly Brook in a warehouse full of people, cue the cheesy porno film guitar music, they grab each other and start tongue kissing like there's nobody around, two 'bro's' are watching and grinning and one bro slaps the other on the back like "Hey bro, let's leave the two love birds alone". The End, roll credits. What cliché garbage!

The idea was interesting but just so poorly executed and yes, the budget was low but that's no excuse for bad writing, lighting and music so unless you want to bother watching it for Kelly Brooks curves, I truly wouldn't waste your time.
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