Review of Christina

Christina (1984)
4/10
T&A and F all else
30 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Heiress Christina has the misfortune to fall prey to multiple kidnappings while on holiday to exotic Mediterranean locations.

During World War II, the English Daily Mirror had a daily comic strip called Jane in which the eponymous heroine lost her clothes with alarming regularity (it kept the spirits of the troops up don't y'know?). There is no such rationale for Christina (B actress Jewel Shepard) to mislay her togs so frequently, yet that doesn't stop her. The innocence of Jane is replaced by a mildly salacious series of sexual encounters with partners ranging from nubile young women to repellent senior citizens.

Miss Shepard's bouffantly back-combed and undeniably attractively unclad persona is the only reason for watching this film, The story is risible, the script pathetic, and the photography dim, unsaturated, and pin sharp (assuming that the pin is as sharp as a button). Somehow, all the gorgeous Mediterranean locations have been filmed on dark overcast days, and look as unattractive as it is possible to make them look. And let's not mention the "acting."
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