Schwester Agnes (1975 TV Movie)
2/10
Oh Agnes, you annoying hag
2 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Let's get the story out of the way:

Agnes, a crotchety, though bizarrely well liked nurse taking care of the various ailments of a rural community, comes in conflict with the mayor when he refuses to grant a young and expecting couple a new home. As Agnes ultimately threatens to leave the community, outrage and shenanigans ensue, including such highlights as a boy hiding a rotten cheese sandwich in the mayor's office to make it all smelly and stuff, and a handful of villagers feigning illnesses to demonstrate how much they need nurse Agnes. None of this is particularly engaging or funny. Spoiler alert.

Alright, then. Another reviewer called this a quintessential movie to watch for anyone interested in understanding the German psyche. Now, I wouldn't go quite that far, but if you're honestly interested in getting a representative taste of good, old East German family entertainment, then this really is a perfect pick. It features the same grotesque banality of the conflicts, the same homeliness of the characters with their gleeful, almost proud simple-mindedness, and the same overall glorification of the working class and the status quo that characterized a very significant percentage of TV productions in the GDR ("Aber Vati", "Rentner Haben Niemals Zeit", the "Maxe Baumann" series of televised stage plays, "Barfuß ins Bett", "Geschichten übern Gartenzaun ", just to name a few more examples).

However, two elements that certainly do make this movie different from most of its contemporaries are the two Agneses. Not only is Agnes Heurig, the titular character, an outstandingly annoying, stubborn, thin-skinned, self-righteous and choleric monster of a human being, who treats anyone who doesn't instantly agree with everything she says like worthless garbage, but Agnes Kraus, the actress portraying her, was also blessed with an astonishing lack of talent and a unique "enunciation" that made me wish this were a silent film. The fact that most of the side characters in this movie are quite fond of Agnes despite her abhorrent behavior is as mystifying to me as Agnes Kraus' popularity in real life.

By the way, to give those, who didn't grow up on the Socialist side of the wall, a more concrete idea of this character, one could compare it to Tyler Perry's Madea. Although Madea is first and foremost an over-the-top comedic character whereas Agnes was at least intended to be kind of a semi-real person, they both share this righteous indignation, this hostility towards opposing views, and this "high-horsitude" that make them irredeemably unlikable.

I guess that in order to get even a modicum of enjoyment out of this movie, one would have to be fully on board with the main character's views, and also see some charm (or at least comedic value) in her grumpy, self-righteous stubbornness. I fail at both. It gets 2 stars instead of 1, simply because the actors around Agnes put up a decent enough effort portraying their dopey characters.
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