I'm not sure if this movie is British or American or a mixture of both. But whatever it is, it's the biggest pile of rubbish this side of Transylvania.
The story begins at the end, with the central character telling a yarn about how he managed to wind up in a box. His story begins with two young people attempting to have sex out in the open in the English countryside. This seems to be a theme of this movie: bouncing boobs, naked bodies and a touch of lesbianism, all mixed with vampirism.
But the young couple are interrupted and murdered. No explanation other than their killers are two crazy young guys with knives.
We then move to an English village pub, where the central character, Francis Hamilton, gets involved in a fight, just after killing a British policeman.
There's also a phone call to an incestuous brother and sister who are having a threesome in France. Kinky and vampires - they end up slaying the female participant in their three-in-a-bed romp. Oh, and they also suck the blood out of a black guy who knocks on the door.
All this done in DAYLIGHT. Hang on, I thought vampires were supposed to hate the daylight. Or have hundreds of years of mythology been wrong? The story then switches again, to an 'earlier time', where there is another fight, but this time in America. It's daylight here too and there are vampires.
Does this sound very boring? Well, it is, and trying to maintain an interest in this trash is like trying to swim in a river of treacle.
And it continues in its merry way, until the end. None of it interesting. None of it scary. Acting is atrocious. A complete waste of time.
Please, don't bother. You'll never get that 90 minutes back.
1/10.
The story begins at the end, with the central character telling a yarn about how he managed to wind up in a box. His story begins with two young people attempting to have sex out in the open in the English countryside. This seems to be a theme of this movie: bouncing boobs, naked bodies and a touch of lesbianism, all mixed with vampirism.
But the young couple are interrupted and murdered. No explanation other than their killers are two crazy young guys with knives.
We then move to an English village pub, where the central character, Francis Hamilton, gets involved in a fight, just after killing a British policeman.
There's also a phone call to an incestuous brother and sister who are having a threesome in France. Kinky and vampires - they end up slaying the female participant in their three-in-a-bed romp. Oh, and they also suck the blood out of a black guy who knocks on the door.
All this done in DAYLIGHT. Hang on, I thought vampires were supposed to hate the daylight. Or have hundreds of years of mythology been wrong? The story then switches again, to an 'earlier time', where there is another fight, but this time in America. It's daylight here too and there are vampires.
Does this sound very boring? Well, it is, and trying to maintain an interest in this trash is like trying to swim in a river of treacle.
And it continues in its merry way, until the end. None of it interesting. None of it scary. Acting is atrocious. A complete waste of time.
Please, don't bother. You'll never get that 90 minutes back.
1/10.