Cold Fish (2010)
1/10
It's Japanese so it must be great...right?
20 February 2013
Where to begin with this mess? Unimaginative sets, camera work, and especially the characters, which are so static and uninteresting. Some of the acting was literally cringeworthy, especially the daughter. The plot, which involves a simple, passive store owner who is slowly drawn into working for a serial killing gangster, is incredibly banal, and the plot "twist" is so predictable I don't even consider it a twist at all. The violence looks incredibly fake, as does all the gore, which is meant to shock but comes off looking like typical haunted house gore at Halloween. The movie was just...inert, unmoving. I literally felt nothing as I viewed it. In fact my only emotion was boredom, and a slight hope that maybe it will get better or actually surprise me or make me feel an emotion.

An utter waste of time. Believe me. The only reason I can see that this has such a high rating is the western fetish for all things Japanese. Trust me, if this was an English show, it would have a hard time fetching a rating of 3 stars on IMDb.

It gets one star from me simply because the title is so apt: this really is about as entertaining and emotive as a cold, dead fish.
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