4/10
Dull-as-dishwater biopic
8 April 2013
By all rights, MULAN should be THE definitive retelling of the story about the famous woman warrior: it's a big-budget Chinese historical war film, made with a huge crew and cast, actors who have previously excelled in other movies, and a thoroughly serious look at a woman out of place in a man's world. Yet it turns out to be a total flop.

The blame should be laid at the door of scriptwriter Ting Zhang, whose leaden and obviously obvious attempts at emotion and characterisation drag this one into the mire from the very beginning. Unlike recent, rousing fare from China such as RED CLIFF or THREE KINGDOMS, MULAN is a maudlin and pondering exercise in narrative that doesn't really seem to be about anything. Those hoping for spectacle and battle will be sorely disappointed, as Jingle Ma's appalling direction sees the war scenes glossed over and dealt with in a purely defunct way.

Instead, at least half of the (oh so lengthy) running times chronicles Mulan's descent into an endless depression as she laments a lost love and wishes she were elsewhere. The viewer will sympathise. Zhao Wei's acting can't be faulted, but the attempts at character and personality are so poorly conceived that the audience couldn't care less about any of the characters, from Jaycee Chan's irritating attempts at a buffoon to Kun Chen's bawling crybaby.

Although the cinematography makes this film look good, it's far from entertaining. The dull-as-dishwater storyline means there's no decent action, the choreography is frankly terrible, and aside from a thirty-second segment at the climax, there's no excitement or suspense to speak of. MULAN should be an instant classic; instead it's a crashing bore.
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