Review of Stranded

Stranded (V) (2013)
1/10
Beyond words
28 May 2013
Instead of telling you about the story which you by now already have a grasp of, I will instead focus on how unceremoniously bad this movie is.

1) Being a scifi you expect either a cool story or some nice visuals. This has got neither. It keeps telling us it's made on a shoestring budget, and I'll admit that some parts were actually nice looking - but all the good parts are ruined by blatantly stupid props and(see 2)

2)Contrived plot twists. OMFG. I was sitting there watching with my mind's mouth open - not sure that the movie unfolding in front of me was for real. It is like watching a train wreck albeit less mass deathy. It will only give you eye cancer and brain rot. I could not turn away though because this movie is played straight - it takes itself DEAD serious, no humour. I SAID NO!

3) The characters in the movie are supremely stupid and that just blows away all suspension of disbelief because face it - there is no chance in Hell that those people would be astronauts, technicians and doctors. No one would employ them and give them the responsibilities they have, much less send them to space and pay them. No, really - it's just sad.

4) Actually I just have to reiterate nr 3). THE CHARACTERS are so stupid it's insulting to my feces' ability to render art before it's flushed.

I could do a deeper analysis, but I doubt there is any need.

When all is said and done - I was entertained in a very weird way. This is in the same category of bad as "Suing the Devil", but not as enjoyably amusing.

/basement dweller
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