Movie review:***spoiler at the very end****Read a few posts down, this movie is the epitome of what we were talking about: Inability to shut a movie off when it starts. Robert Englund is back directing after 976- Evil, 20 years ago, btw. That isn't a good start, but I still had to check it out. I'll give the story I guess, 3 guys (actors names are unimportant) fall into some money so they decide to move from IL to LA and get a great place to live the good life, and get laid. Well, they stumble upon a great house for a very cheap price (and when i say house, that is an understatement) and immediately jump on it. So, yes, of course, the place is the home of a portal to hell located in the basement of course. Well, minor, yet trivial things happen there but the go unnoticed, blaming these things on "squatters" living in the house. The writers must have thought that was the funniest thing ever since it comes up at least every ten seconds throughout this movie. I digress, by this point you already have seen/heard some really lame attempts at humor that most would have already turned off, ME? Hell no, how much worse can it get? At this point, I was already set to begin heating up a spoon and gouging my eyeballs out but i continued on to find out the plan was a huge housewarming party (more victims) so I figured maybe some creative deaths and boobs. OK, complete failure there and my brain is now begging me to shut off the movie, but I had already taken a nailgun and fastened my hands to the desk so I was unable to stop it. The pain of doing so actually hurt less than watching the movie. The 3 complete idiots have some very sweet friends from down the street that help them get a party together, played by 3 young, attractive women that couldn't act there way out of a cardboard box. I may have dozed off from blood loss, but the party at the Killer Pad is now in full swing and I swear I heard a familiar voice. Could this be star power? Yes, it's none other than Joey Lawerence. Ladies, I know you MUST be very interested now, he's a "dream." So cue the party goers getting killed in really stupid, non gory or creative fashion. All the eye candy was completely wasted, not a single joke worked in the slightest, and if the ending surprised you, there is no amount of teaching you can receive to cure your "stupid." I won't bother describing in detail any of the killings since i pray you don't damage your mind and watch this crap. The movie does end, might be the longest 84 minutes of your life, and maybe you will do what I did to feel better. Took off my socks, dipped my feet in gasoline, lit my feet on fire and ran across a field of broken glass for about an hour. Since I struggle to find a good point in a movie, it was a nice house. Luckily I didn't subject anyone else to watching this with me, I don't have many friends and I can assure you, that would've sealed the fate of any relation with anyone. If you are like me and just have to see it, do not return and say I did not warn you. Freddy, do us a favor, don't make any more movies, stay in front of the camera, please !!! 1.4/10 IMDb 3.9 Joey must've blown a LOT of people to get that rating up. *********spoilers******** Nobody dies, everyone miraculously gets up after the house implodes and is just fine and that isn't the big surprise, you already saw that one, and it better not surprise you.
Review of Killer Pad
