We should know by now, from bitter experience, that when a copper is coming up for retirement it's a sure sign that something very, very nasty is about to happen.
So when DC Len Harper (David Threlfall) walks out of the nick for the final time we've already guessed that he's soon going to be taking on the biggest challenge of this life. Maybe all police officers should simply start work on the first day of their retirement. It might dramatically improve the crime statistics.
"What Remains" begins with a flashback as chubby, innocent-faced Melissa (Jessica Gunning) moves into the attic flat of No 8 Coulthard Street. Something about Melissa says "victim" right away. We fear for her safety. Our sphincters twitch uncontrollably in our trousers.
Clearly something's not quite right about this house. For a start, it looks exactly like the property in Simon Pegg's "Spaced", and several of the residents appear to have recently relocated from either Lark Rise or Candleford. There's also at least one familiar face from "Luther" which is scary in itself.
Poor old Melissa should pack her bags and leave right away, but instead, in true "Scooby Doo" fashion, she climbs up into the loft on her own and gets strangled by a mysterious stranger.
So, whodunnit? Grumpy old maths teacher Joe Sellers (David Bamber) is straight into the frame. For a start he has one of his ex-pupils Liz (Denise Gough) locked up in the basement, and he tups her wheezily at every opportunity. Meanwhile young Liz is less of a prisoner than we might think, and is secretly boffing the big eared boy from upstairs (Russell Tovey), while his very pregnant girlfriend is busy painting the nursery an unpleasant shade of duck egg blue.
While all this is going on, we discover that prior to the murder Kieron Moss (Steven Mackintosh) was cheating on his journalist girlfriend Patricia (Claudie Blakley) by regularly popping upstairs and using poor Melissa as a human trampoline. Following this athletic intercourse it's hard to see how the architectural integrity of the house survived, but somehow the building remained standing long enough for the murder to take place.
Other suspects include a couple of bitchy lesbians on the second floor (one of whom likes to bully the other by tying her up with straps), and Kieron's teenage son Adam, who spends the whole time trying to get into the knickers of his father's girlfriend. What's not to like? Everything and everybody.
I enjoyed this 4 part BBC1 drama, but it really was quite difficult to identify with any of the characters. They were all, at best, flawed, and most of them were just downright nasty.
Even with this in mind, I don't think any of us were prepared for the final episode, which left the claustrophobic and carefully distressed set littered with corpses and splattered with claret.
There was us thinking there was only one killer on the loose, and the woodwork turned out to be crawling with psychopaths – the denouement making the climax of Macbeth look like a picnic scene from The Famous Five.
OK, it was all a bit contrived, particularly when DC Len reached for his bow and arrow, but the twists and turns were so expertly engineered by writer Tony Basgallop that in the end we would forgive him anything.
Stylishly directed by Coky Giedroyc, "What Remains" turned out to be one of my favourite drama series of 2013 so far, but sadly I don't think there's going to be a second series. Everyone's dead.
Read more TV reviews at Mouthbox.co.uk
So when DC Len Harper (David Threlfall) walks out of the nick for the final time we've already guessed that he's soon going to be taking on the biggest challenge of this life. Maybe all police officers should simply start work on the first day of their retirement. It might dramatically improve the crime statistics.
"What Remains" begins with a flashback as chubby, innocent-faced Melissa (Jessica Gunning) moves into the attic flat of No 8 Coulthard Street. Something about Melissa says "victim" right away. We fear for her safety. Our sphincters twitch uncontrollably in our trousers.
Clearly something's not quite right about this house. For a start, it looks exactly like the property in Simon Pegg's "Spaced", and several of the residents appear to have recently relocated from either Lark Rise or Candleford. There's also at least one familiar face from "Luther" which is scary in itself.
Poor old Melissa should pack her bags and leave right away, but instead, in true "Scooby Doo" fashion, she climbs up into the loft on her own and gets strangled by a mysterious stranger.
So, whodunnit? Grumpy old maths teacher Joe Sellers (David Bamber) is straight into the frame. For a start he has one of his ex-pupils Liz (Denise Gough) locked up in the basement, and he tups her wheezily at every opportunity. Meanwhile young Liz is less of a prisoner than we might think, and is secretly boffing the big eared boy from upstairs (Russell Tovey), while his very pregnant girlfriend is busy painting the nursery an unpleasant shade of duck egg blue.
While all this is going on, we discover that prior to the murder Kieron Moss (Steven Mackintosh) was cheating on his journalist girlfriend Patricia (Claudie Blakley) by regularly popping upstairs and using poor Melissa as a human trampoline. Following this athletic intercourse it's hard to see how the architectural integrity of the house survived, but somehow the building remained standing long enough for the murder to take place.
Other suspects include a couple of bitchy lesbians on the second floor (one of whom likes to bully the other by tying her up with straps), and Kieron's teenage son Adam, who spends the whole time trying to get into the knickers of his father's girlfriend. What's not to like? Everything and everybody.
I enjoyed this 4 part BBC1 drama, but it really was quite difficult to identify with any of the characters. They were all, at best, flawed, and most of them were just downright nasty.
Even with this in mind, I don't think any of us were prepared for the final episode, which left the claustrophobic and carefully distressed set littered with corpses and splattered with claret.
There was us thinking there was only one killer on the loose, and the woodwork turned out to be crawling with psychopaths – the denouement making the climax of Macbeth look like a picnic scene from The Famous Five.
OK, it was all a bit contrived, particularly when DC Len reached for his bow and arrow, but the twists and turns were so expertly engineered by writer Tony Basgallop that in the end we would forgive him anything.
Stylishly directed by Coky Giedroyc, "What Remains" turned out to be one of my favourite drama series of 2013 so far, but sadly I don't think there's going to be a second series. Everyone's dead.
Read more TV reviews at Mouthbox.co.uk