7/10
Something...Hell!...EVERYTHING'S Lost In The Translation.
7 October 2013
I won't rehash the plot. The above reviews got it right enough.

But I will say that this is one of those weirdly graphic Spanish horror(?) flicks. It repeats itself mercilessly, but gives you a new bit of nudity at the end of each screensaver of a plot development.

It just so happens I was in the perfect mood for for some groovy moderns and their struggle with ah...er, a sexy vampire? This is one of those movies that make so little sense that you wonder if the voice-over guys who did the English version didn't just say anything that popped into their heads.

But the weirdest thing of all, was when our phosphorescent protagonist orders a Mercedes Convertible at a rental agency.

What is strange is that there's about 6 inches of fresh snow on the ground. Not exactly weather where you'd need the top-down option.

So, anyway, someone must have gotten into a tizzie because the producer made them use his car to make some extra change, and they felt compelled to explain the use of a convertible in the movie.

I don't know. But considering how nonsensical the rest of the movie is, this bit of overcompensation stands out like a nervous tick.

NIPPLES! Had to put a word in for the nipples.

They were quite good.
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