Review of Cold Comes the Night

. . . which is no surprise, as COLD COMES THE NIGHT apparently was filmed near the U.S.-Canadian border and is copyrighted by an outfit called "Manitoba Project," which sounds about as Canadian as they come. Rather than dwelling on how many Mounties it takes to screw a light bulb, or whether even half of Canadian crimes result in convictions, maybe a word is in order about COLD COMES THE NIGHT. There are two main law enforcement figures among the main cast of characters: Deputy Billy (yup, at least he's not named Dewey) and a detective from somewhere or other. Billy behaves like a textbook schizophrenic, which one assumes would pass unnoticed up Sasketoon way; not so much in America, however. The detective's head is thicker than a post, which is why the manager of the local motel\bordello--Chloe--has no trouble starting a new life with hundreds of thousands in Mob cash, though it's clear Chloe would be the dullest knife in the drawer in an authentic American kitchen. When Americans make films in America, the first rule of thumb is that NOBODY lives happily ever after on money stolen from the Mob. I've seen many, many worse Canadian productions than COLD COMES THE NIGHT, but be forewarned: if you liked FARGO, RESERVOIR DOGS, or PULP FICTION, you'll probably think COLD COMES THE NIGHT belongs with the kindergarten set.