No One Lives (2012)
4/10
... But everyone is bored.
26 January 2014
I have a strong dislike of films that pretend to be pseudo intellectual, when instead they're as dumb as a post. This movie is about a maniac who slaughters an entire dorm full of students, apart from one girl he spares to keep as a prisoner. He corrupts her fragile little mind to his way of thinking, until she develops something akin to Stockholm Syndrome (where victims develop a rapport with their kidnappers). Months later, he himself is carjacked... and the criminals who look in his boot discover the young lady all tied up. She's covered in scars, and delivers an ominous warning: You shouldn't have done that. Not to this dude...

Aside from some very sickly arresting gross deaths (don't watch if you've just eaten) it's just 75 minutes of people shouting at each other with a bit of nudity thrown in for good measure. The worst parts are when this killer decides to share his reasons for his psychosis... these I suppose are meant to be eye-opening character moments, when in fact they are mind-numbing gibberish perpetuated by a man who's idea of a good time is to rub someone's head against a running engine.

What did you expect, from a movie part financed by WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment)? I dare say there are some of their crew in the cast. All I can say is steroids do not improve your acting ability. 4/10
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