I didn't know Falcon Studios wants to "get real" now - and brings all their actors along, too ;o)! Forget about history. Forget about silly details like wearing armour when you want to show off with all your great, hairless (!) bodies. Forget about the historical background, anyway, when you can fill the movie with great fights at sea including men wearing strange masks (were they Gangsta Rappers?).
Oh, yes, and forget about scriptwriting, too. Porno actors aren't used to talking, probably this is why the main actor (Demostecles?) sounds like an angry plumber all the time - he looks like that, too. His strategic analysis was fascinating: "The Persians are coming from the North and the South!" *That* surely means trouble, and those Persians must be really clever to accomplish that! But as Eva Green says: "The battle skills of the Athenians are creative!" Her character must feel very creative, too, sitting on her throne as if she was wearing a fake penis secretly.
*But* Eva Green not only is unusual and strikingly beautiful, she seemed to be the only professional actor in the movie, obviously having the time of her life skillfully overacting to be the b*tchiest b*tch of the Wild Sea. And her eyes are haunting. Her "King", though, was quite handsome as a human, but as a "God" he looked (and acted) like a transvestite high on a mix of steroids and crack. (Crack smoking probably ruined his voice, too.) Demostecles had this very hot guy around all the time, with long black hair and beard, but the character didn't do much than stand around like posing for erotic fotos and looking at his surroundings as if he was in deep pain - maybe he was the philosopher of the crowd. I actually think the only thing the "director" did was to tell his actors how to stand there to look sexy and how to look into the camera to look good. Well, as a porno director, I guess this is your daily business. He just didn't get it right with the "good" Queen, boy, was she ugly, and the actress performed like a salesgirl frustrated with her life. But that character had the strange line (near the beginning of the movie):"You've come a long way to stroke your cock watching your soldiers train" (or something like that). That was completely out of place and didn't make any sense, but I guess the Falcon executives wanted to have it in the movie. Actually none of the good guys seemed to have a sex life (they are probably to young for that?), since also the sex scene with Eva Green looked like a weird soft porno on fast forward. (I actually expected *her* to d*ggy Demistocles.) They never really got their clothes of, anyway. Probably made for teenagers, as was the whole movie, I guess.
Forget about it. The typical case of a sequel gone BAD.
Oh, yes, and forget about scriptwriting, too. Porno actors aren't used to talking, probably this is why the main actor (Demostecles?) sounds like an angry plumber all the time - he looks like that, too. His strategic analysis was fascinating: "The Persians are coming from the North and the South!" *That* surely means trouble, and those Persians must be really clever to accomplish that! But as Eva Green says: "The battle skills of the Athenians are creative!" Her character must feel very creative, too, sitting on her throne as if she was wearing a fake penis secretly.
*But* Eva Green not only is unusual and strikingly beautiful, she seemed to be the only professional actor in the movie, obviously having the time of her life skillfully overacting to be the b*tchiest b*tch of the Wild Sea. And her eyes are haunting. Her "King", though, was quite handsome as a human, but as a "God" he looked (and acted) like a transvestite high on a mix of steroids and crack. (Crack smoking probably ruined his voice, too.) Demostecles had this very hot guy around all the time, with long black hair and beard, but the character didn't do much than stand around like posing for erotic fotos and looking at his surroundings as if he was in deep pain - maybe he was the philosopher of the crowd. I actually think the only thing the "director" did was to tell his actors how to stand there to look sexy and how to look into the camera to look good. Well, as a porno director, I guess this is your daily business. He just didn't get it right with the "good" Queen, boy, was she ugly, and the actress performed like a salesgirl frustrated with her life. But that character had the strange line (near the beginning of the movie):"You've come a long way to stroke your cock watching your soldiers train" (or something like that). That was completely out of place and didn't make any sense, but I guess the Falcon executives wanted to have it in the movie. Actually none of the good guys seemed to have a sex life (they are probably to young for that?), since also the sex scene with Eva Green looked like a weird soft porno on fast forward. (I actually expected *her* to d*ggy Demistocles.) They never really got their clothes of, anyway. Probably made for teenagers, as was the whole movie, I guess.
Forget about it. The typical case of a sequel gone BAD.