Death Wish 3 (1985)
1/10
Death Wish 3 a Laugh Fest
9 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I have to agree with with many other commentators on this site that this is one one those "so bad that it's good" movies. Wooden acting, unbelievable dialog, unbelievable amounts of violence, two pairs of bare titties (by my account), all presented by Golan and Globus, the B-movie schlockmeisters behind the Cannon Films Group of the 1980s.

The tone for this film is set just a few minutes in, when NYC cop Ed Lauter punches a seated and handcuffed Bronson in the the face because Bronson asked a question about his Constitutional rights. "I'm the law! That means I get to violate your Constitutional rights!" Lauter exclaims. From his position on the floor, Bronson kicks Lauter in the nuts.

This doesn't suit Lauter well, so he tosses Bronson into a cell, without formally arresting or changing him with a crime. In the cell, Bronson is challenged by a small, break dancing black prisoner, who asks if he is "looking for trouble?" Bronson passes him by, so the small black man punches a much larger, muscular black man in the stomach for no apparent reason. The larger black man punches back, decking the smaller guy. As the smaller guy lays screaming on the floor, he shouts "you f*cker!" at Bronson. You might want to pause the film at this point for a laugh break. I know I did.

Another few personal favorites: • the buff gay black guy in the cut-off tank top who got killed once or twice, but still kept coming back • first exposition of the Wildey handgun, basically the most powerful handgun on Earth. NRA porn. Even I wanted one, and I don't like guns. • the uniform cops who, in a neighborhood exploding with gang violence, bully an elderly Jewish couple into surrendering their handgun • the pretty pro bono attorney Bronson f*cks and then apparently has no emotional attachment to when she dies in a fiery vehicle crash (are there any other kind in Hollywood movies) minutes later • Riot police or National Guard not appearing as an urban neighborhood descends into chaos • Ed Lauter joining Bronson towards the end in a final all-laws-are-suspended fight at the OK corral kind of confrontation with the bad guys
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