1/10
One of the worst movies i've seen in a long time
28 June 2014
Ahhh where to start. I usually don't write reviews. But yesterday's disappointment in watching this had to be expressed either through punching an anvil, or writing this review. But i need my hands this week so I'm going to write a review.

I am a fan of transformers, i loved the cartoon series and the first and second blockbuster hit. I saw quite a substantial amount of plot holes in the third installation and I knew it was going to go downhill from there. I had hopes that the age of extinction would clear some of the plot holes i saw from the dark of the moon, and after seeing the movie trailers I became somewhat excited and felt all warm inside.

I brought my two boys with me, bought some overpriced pop-corns and sugar drinks to stimulate my mind so that my brain could focus and absorb the new concept of the story, hoping to satisfy my hunger for unanswered questions that left my joy decimated at the last series.

I like Walhberg during action scenes, but not when he starts making lame dialogues. And those lame dialogues deviate from being a bit funny, to just stab me in my thighs, depending on who wrote the script. Lame dialogues pervaded the whole friggen movie!

There are countless, pointless, perpetually boring ass things that prevented the story, or just the movie as a whole from being appreciated. The characters were annoying, namely Lucas, Tessa and that friggen Shane who is nothing but a disrespectful little sh*t to Walhberg and exhibited this attitude throughout until third quarter of the movie. I'm a dad alright, and I just wanted to punch him the f**k out! And Walhberg should've done the same, what the hell? Few good actors, but the characters were weak.

Every time i thought that the movie was trying to make people laugh, I look around the entire cinema and see people staring at the screen, not laughing. I look at my boys and they're not laughing, and they're the type that laugh at anything that moves. I'm not laughing because my mind is struggling trying to keep that hope alive while at the same time enduring the thought of another ominous outcome, "when is this going to end?", "stop doing stupid things", "stop trying to make me laugh", "just stop talking", "OMG what am I doing here?"

I finish the giant popcorn and my big tub of sugar drink after an hour. I thought that if i just go out for a smoke, maybe i'll be able to appreciate the rest of the movie because my mind will be refreshed. I'll take my time, maybe say hi to that nice ticket collector and make small talk. That's 10 minutes to recuperate. It couldn't be that bad.

I get back to my seat. Nothing changes...

Every new main event that was introduced in the movie was not properly explained in the end. In other words, it just came out of nowhere and went nowhere. This just piled up leaving me with more and more questions. It seems as if plots were inserted in holes and the viewer was left to create his own resolution of it. The story is incongruently incoherent.

Why after all this time, can't Bumblebee talk? With all the autonomous robotic, high alien-technologically advanced race systems that are available that they can't rectify his voice box?? I wanted to see more of the dinobots. And why were they in the... never mind, no spoilers.

Yes most of the action scenes were great, but come on, don't make it lame by adding something that doesn't belong there, like another horrific comment, phrase or something that isn't funny. It destroys the entertainment. In fact, just don't even talk during the action scenes please!

Graphics are awesome. That's the only thing I appreciate.

So unfortunately i left disappointed once again. More than disappointed, irritated and frustrated. I asked my boys what they thought, they said "ummm... awesome?" as if that definition has lost it's meaning and they weren't entirely sure how to make me feel better. I wanted to research on the writers and directors who created this movie to try and figure out how they defiled a great science fiction theme, but I couldn't give a cross-bun anymore. I'll let it roll this time. I feeling a bit better now.

In the end i figure this movie suits those who don't care too much about story lines and great characters and dialogues. Mainly those who like to see giant robots fight. but the movie is rated for matured audiences and robot fights only took place during half the movie. So then I question what are the creators of this film trying to achieve? Use the name for profit and create something primarily for entertainment purposes. But today's audience are rational thinkers who want more than just action scenes and loud explosions. So...
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