Endless Love (2014)
3/10
Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear
15 August 2014
Though "Endless Love" feels like a rehash of "The Notebook" (as if one were needed), it's actually a remake of a long-forgotten film from 1980, starring Brooke Shields and Martin Hewitt, based on the novel by Scott Spencer. In fact, if that film is remembered at all, it's probably as much for the drippy, inexplicably popular title song (sung by Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie) as for the movie itself (it also marked the screen debut of Tom Cruise, which gives it some historical significance).

This is another of those dime-a-dozen romances between two kids from opposite sides of the tracks (as always, the adolescents are portrayed by actors long out of their teens). Jade is a poor-little-rich-kid who's just graduated high school and is about to embark on a promising career in medicine. David, on the other hand, is all ready to set up life as a mechanic in his dad's garage. The movie has to find a way to explain how the beautiful Jade, who would clearly be the most popular girl in any high school in the United States, just happens to be the least popular girl at this one. Turns out Jade's brother died of cancer a few years back and she's been isolating with her family ever since.

"Endless Love" lines up its cast of stereotypes in dutiful fashion: the snooty rich folk, the jealous exes, the super-supportive mother and brother, the wisecracking sidekick, and the over-protective, elitist dad who fairly drips with disdain for the lower social orders, of whom David is a prime example, and who will stop at nothing to keep such a boy from marrying his daughter.

Jade is such a dreamy-eyed dolt and David such a paragon of dime-novel romance that it becomes impossible for us to identify with either one of them as actual people. Even David's allegedly troubled background seems gussied-up and phony, a bit of back story tacked on to make him more relatable to the audience. It doesn't work.

Riddled with cheesy dialogue and ridiculous plot points, especially in the melodramatic finale, this sappy, white-bread take on "Romeo and Juliet" (minus the poetry, of course) scrapes the bottom of the barrel as far as recent movie romances go. Though, come to think of it, at least they dropped that dreadful song. That's at least one point in the movie's favor.
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