3/10
This Ox Is Cooked
8 September 2014
We begin on a cold and wintry day in 1894 Minnesota. Lumberjacks are getting ready to feast on a big mammal - unfortunately, the beast turns out to be Paul Bunyan's legendary blue ox. The wrathful Mr. Bunyan arrives and chops up everyone in sight. Discovering the massacre, graying "Grizzly Adams" star Dan Haggerty (as Bill) is appalled. We will get to see the bloody opening scene in even in more detail, during a later flashback. In the present, the area is apparently a corrections facility for first offenders, and we see a group arrive for correction. They are not "technically" a group of five teenagers, as is pointed out by kindly psychologist Kristina Kopf (as Ms. K)...

The "boot camp" is run in a drill sergeant manner by Thomas "Tom" Downey. On a hike, handsome hunk Jesse Kove (as Zachery "Zack" Moore) finds Paul Bunyan's ox' horn and makes it a keepsake. This desecration rouses monster Bunyan, who has grown into a much bigger ugly monster. He decides to chop everyone up, like he did in the past. One good thing about the story was the inability to predict the numerical death order for the males. The females are easier. Amber Collins (as Claire "CB" Tanner) makes the most of her role. Some of the early scenes are okay, especially nice is the deer and bear. By the end, Bunyan is laughable. The filmmakers should have showed less.

Axe Giant (6/1/13) Gary Jones ~ Amber Connor, Joe Estevez, Jesse Kove, Thomas Downey
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