3/10
All a biopic shouldn't be – and pretty horrible besides.
23 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Ka'iulani did exist – at least they got that right. She was an interesting minor historical figure, beautiful, charming, smart, brave and determined. They got that right too, but not much else. Some of the main facts were correct. She was the last heir to the throne of Hawai'i, educated in England and did visit President Cleveland. Her family's monarchy was suppressed and her country annexed by the USA. But history isn't so clear about her motivations – to nobly serve her people, as in the movie, or to retain/regain her family's enjoyment of hereditary power and adulation.

The real Ka'iulani was something of a heroic failure. Her charisma and shuttle-diplomacy may have delayed some of the inevitable, but not by much and she achieved almost nothing in the end. She had long suffered from ill-health (ignored in the movie) and died in her early 20s. A true biopic of her life would be fascinating but rather sad and depressing. This manufactured twaddle was nothing much at all.

Kilcher is a fine actress, as shown in New World (where she had rather better support) and she does her best here in a feebly written part. The support is horrible, Pepper hamming it up as the villain and Evans as a shoehorned-in love-interest bland and tedious enough to stretch credibility as any kind of interest for a woman like this. The script is trite and ghastly, apart from authentic quotes – Princess K herself had better script-writers! Production values, costumes and settings do pull this up a little way by the bootstraps but not very far.

The worst thing here is the manufactured story, not only false but lacking any originality. The romantic strand is trite, ridiculous and way too time-consuming – as though there was nothing more interesting to say about this woman. Ludicrous cameos – nasty people from her schooldays being welcomed and helped by this saintly figure. And a true Hollywood-style happy ending. Meanwhile the true hero of the vain battle to preserve Hawai'i from the USA, Queen Liliʻuokalani, is diminished to an insignificant bit-player. This movie may have been well-intentioned but it's worse than just a waste of time. To turn the history of these real and genuinely fascinating women into this clichéed garbage is criminal.
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