Review of Dear God No!

Dear God No! (2011)
3/10
Just another misguided vanity project...
24 October 2014
Warning: Spoilers
...from people who likely don't know any better, and even more likely don't care one way or the other, "Dear God No!" can't help but live up to its name in any discerning viewer's mind. Ostensibly an homage to 70s grindhouse features, this bit of pitiable excess fails to show any genuine respect for the genre or for filmmaking in general. Wooden non- actors swell the cast while reciting lines that might impress middle- schoolers with IQs in the room temperature range. The camera-work is---to be kind---in focus (well, usually), and the rest of the production values aren't much better. Costuming (and the lack thereof for most of the females) is probably the film's only strong point.

Needless to say, the script is abysmal, direction is non-existent, and did I already mention that the actors can't express themselves out of a paper bag? The corpse of Ted Sturgeon is shaking its head in despair. This one's a time-waster only, kiddies; not even the rampant nudity can recommend it. You've been warned.
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