Teenage Girls Will Like This!
25 April 2015
I was really looking forward to this one. Sadly, I was disappointed. It is not very engaging at all. Right from the beginning the tone and narration comes off as silly and childish. It instantly builds the atmosphere that one could expect from a novel written for teenage girls. It is so bland: a young girl who is a bored nobody suddenly gets a chance to go on a thrilling adventure, and even to be a genuine princess in a beautiful and strange place. Of course, there is a knight in sci-fi armor, and gravity boots, heroics and the likes.

Jupiter Ascending is kind of like a splice between Divergent and countless other fantasy franchises that also appeals to women, as well as men who thinks that all movies are good. But the appeal is clearly directed at young girls. Tatum is made to look elf-ish with has pointy ears and light beard, but in all other respects he IS the guy from Divergent. The female lead IS the girl from Divergent, the Catniss Everdeen of this horrible and sleazy setup. The worst part of it is that it comes from the sibling-directors that once defined a genre by giving us The Matrix.

So the story sucks. But what about the execution? There are no points to award for that, either. The casting is awful; they have chosen very blank and uninteresting actors that fill their roles without trying. Kunis and Tatum seem like they are hung over at times. The young actors that play the sinister family are especially terrible. Normally, the Wachowskis have the action part down. But this time it is silly. The action scenes are over the top and visually confusing. It even feels a bit Disney, at times. I have to say that the CGI looks good, and that it is clearly made on a high budget. The sounds and sights at times alludes slightly to The Matrix, and therefore I did actually like some of it.

But I have to be honest. It really didn't appeal to me. I will advise you to stay away from this release if you did not enjoy Divergent. But if you enjoyed Divergent, it may give you just what you need. Whatever floats your boat.
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