No Holds Barred (1989): Dir: Thomas J. Wright / Cast: Hulk Hogan, Tiny Lister, Kurt Fuller, Joan Severance, Bill Eadie: Here is a screenplay so stupid that it would make better toilet paper than quality entertainment. Title indicates that rules will be broken but the whole point is exploited to death. It stars Hulk Hogan playing himself against Tiny Lister as Zeus in a much awaited wrestling bout. He turned down promoter Kurt Fuller so in a tantrum he hires Zeus to beat the tar out of Hogan. Zeus is one of the biggest jackasses ever to enter a film. He grunts, yells, beats on his chest. Plot is ridiculous and unrealistic when factoring in the fact that the law would not likely support such an event. director Thomas J. Wright could have saved money and just film any high school bully taking out his aggression on some poor dote on the playground. Aside from an embarrassing performances from Hogan who really should stick to wrestling, Lister is in a category all by himself, and his defeat is less than exciting. Fuller plays the typical irritating promoter who starts controversy and then cowers until fatal consequences. Joan Severance plays the ever familiar lame ass damsel. Bill Eadie appears as Rip's opening opponent but fans best remember him in his superior role as one half of the great tag team Demolition with partner Smash. It is meant to appeal to legions of Hulk fans so others should tear it in separate directions. Score: 0 / 10
Review of No Holds Barred
