Okay. Now I'm a huge horror movie fanatic among other movies. I like stuff that are new. There are some B-movies that I actually like cause they are just fun movies to make. But me liking horror to a T makes me point out every single flaw in this movie. This does not by any means mean that I won't watch B-movies, but this one... Good grief I did not like it. My buddy got this movie, and reading it took me back to when I was younger and hearing tales about the giant Paul Bunyan. And let me tell you, this movie completely, and utterly destroyed that legend.
Before I go on a rant I will tell you the one and only good thing I liked about this movie. The setting. The environment was beautiful, and was just downright gorgeous. I love the woods, and the forest was very pretty so it was a very good place to film a B-movie.
Now to the bad: First is the lack of good acting. None of these characters were unique in anyway, the dialog was horrible along with the bad puns and jokes along with a comical misuse of every single cliché imaginable when needed. From the creepy old man who warns the teens of their inedible doom, to the slut who dies first, the black man dies, the cop is dumb, and trying to deal with the killer, the list goes on and on and on. For the sake of time I will name only a few.
For instance, these kids are criminals, and some judge deemed necessary to send them to the middle of nowhere with only one overweight cop and a dumb blonde counselor. Of course first day of 'healing' begins and the counselor asks the cop to leave the gun behind. I get it that bad things happen in horror movies, but in my outdoors experience, you ALWAYS carry a gun or a knife. And this is a cop, who is supposed to guard these kids not listen to a counselor who 'might help'. Well she is helping technically, but only to get them killed. Plus the acting with the sad sad sex scene... Not gonna go there. And finally, you all know the old saying, 'the black man always dies in a horror movie', well in this movie they did that cliché again, but in the worst possible way. If someone is holding a shotgun at you, you don't run at them. Period. And here's what made me laugh when he fell back and his buddies held him as he died. He says in a very sad way, "Is it bad?" Um... I'm no doctor or mortician, but I'm pretty sure that if you get shot point blank in the stomach there's no 'good' so its most likely bad. Also the a*****e of the group, you know the big jock who we all hope dies does, and I will agree he deserves this from taking a horn from a dead animal, and I don't feel bad when he does, but I'm not okay with him getting it easy with just a stab through the chest. No. He deserves the shotgun.
Now on to the screenplay. Paul Bunyan. A legendary giant whos 63 axe handles high who can clear entire forests in an hour is reduced to this. A troll-like giant who acts really stupid, is a cave dweller, and does not by any means look realistic at all. From the cheap killing cams to just the running around the axe giant looks like a sad add-on from a youtube movie. It was just sad. In one scene he jumps down from a cliff to the criminals he's bent on killing with his giant axe below. And by 'jump' I mean he floated down. Didn't even hopped of jumped or in any way gave the look of jumping off the cliff. He legitimately froze and floated down. Sad. Even for a B-movie.
Finally the story-line. Atrocious. Men kill Pauls ox Babe, he goes nuts kills everyone, and gets captured and humiliated in front of a girl he liked. He then escapes and hides in seclusion. Years later a bunch of dumb teens violate the remains of Babe. Paul gets mad and goes to kill everyone. Predictable, and very sad how they told the story. I like backstories that give you the chills or some understanding. This one, even the actual story was just awful. And when Paul gets killed by National Guard (Go Guard) he starts calling out to the virgin criminal who he thinks looks like the girl he once liked hundreds of years ago (and no she does not look like her at all), the only thought in my head was 'just die already'. And thankfully he did, ending this terrible story that butchered a legend. And all the cast members along with it.
If you like B-movies I say give this one a try you MIGHT like it, but I'm telling you from my experience, I was at a loss for words just how horrible this was. And I have no shame in saying so.
Before I go on a rant I will tell you the one and only good thing I liked about this movie. The setting. The environment was beautiful, and was just downright gorgeous. I love the woods, and the forest was very pretty so it was a very good place to film a B-movie.
Now to the bad: First is the lack of good acting. None of these characters were unique in anyway, the dialog was horrible along with the bad puns and jokes along with a comical misuse of every single cliché imaginable when needed. From the creepy old man who warns the teens of their inedible doom, to the slut who dies first, the black man dies, the cop is dumb, and trying to deal with the killer, the list goes on and on and on. For the sake of time I will name only a few.
For instance, these kids are criminals, and some judge deemed necessary to send them to the middle of nowhere with only one overweight cop and a dumb blonde counselor. Of course first day of 'healing' begins and the counselor asks the cop to leave the gun behind. I get it that bad things happen in horror movies, but in my outdoors experience, you ALWAYS carry a gun or a knife. And this is a cop, who is supposed to guard these kids not listen to a counselor who 'might help'. Well she is helping technically, but only to get them killed. Plus the acting with the sad sad sex scene... Not gonna go there. And finally, you all know the old saying, 'the black man always dies in a horror movie', well in this movie they did that cliché again, but in the worst possible way. If someone is holding a shotgun at you, you don't run at them. Period. And here's what made me laugh when he fell back and his buddies held him as he died. He says in a very sad way, "Is it bad?" Um... I'm no doctor or mortician, but I'm pretty sure that if you get shot point blank in the stomach there's no 'good' so its most likely bad. Also the a*****e of the group, you know the big jock who we all hope dies does, and I will agree he deserves this from taking a horn from a dead animal, and I don't feel bad when he does, but I'm not okay with him getting it easy with just a stab through the chest. No. He deserves the shotgun.
Now on to the screenplay. Paul Bunyan. A legendary giant whos 63 axe handles high who can clear entire forests in an hour is reduced to this. A troll-like giant who acts really stupid, is a cave dweller, and does not by any means look realistic at all. From the cheap killing cams to just the running around the axe giant looks like a sad add-on from a youtube movie. It was just sad. In one scene he jumps down from a cliff to the criminals he's bent on killing with his giant axe below. And by 'jump' I mean he floated down. Didn't even hopped of jumped or in any way gave the look of jumping off the cliff. He legitimately froze and floated down. Sad. Even for a B-movie.
Finally the story-line. Atrocious. Men kill Pauls ox Babe, he goes nuts kills everyone, and gets captured and humiliated in front of a girl he liked. He then escapes and hides in seclusion. Years later a bunch of dumb teens violate the remains of Babe. Paul gets mad and goes to kill everyone. Predictable, and very sad how they told the story. I like backstories that give you the chills or some understanding. This one, even the actual story was just awful. And when Paul gets killed by National Guard (Go Guard) he starts calling out to the virgin criminal who he thinks looks like the girl he once liked hundreds of years ago (and no she does not look like her at all), the only thought in my head was 'just die already'. And thankfully he did, ending this terrible story that butchered a legend. And all the cast members along with it.
If you like B-movies I say give this one a try you MIGHT like it, but I'm telling you from my experience, I was at a loss for words just how horrible this was. And I have no shame in saying so.