If you are looking for a juicy conspiracy film featuring space aliens, evil government agencies, and nefarious human experiments... keep looking. This pathetic excuse for a documentary is an amateurish exercise in sheer idiocy. An assembly of the usual "eyewitnesses" spin fantastic and yet somehow utterly boring yarns about their experiences below ground in a sinister Air Force base where children are mind-controlled for unspecified reasons — all without a single shred of evidence to back up a single bizarre assertion. One of these talking heads, a bearded character named Swerdlow, is an obvious huckster who is apparently promoting some kind of pay-per-view scam he has concocted on a paranoiac members-only website. I have never seen a less credible presenter. Face it, folks, there are enough conspiracy/UFO/secret world government nut jobs out there for them to amount to a market! Anyway, top the whole thing off with a ludicrous high-tension soundtrack, a sound mix that sounds as if it was done by a ten-year-old, and a voice-over script that never uses a simple word when a bigger more pretentious-sounding word is available — and you've got the whole picture. Sooner or later all the usual suspects show up, the Illuminati, the Grays (who we are informed are actually just mind-controlled human fetuses!!!) — everything short of Dracula and the Wolf Man. And with all that going for it, the filmmaking is so plodding and repetitive that it's almost impossible to sit through more than a few minutes at a time. A truly shameful piece of... work.
Review of Montauk Chronicles
