Last Shift (I) (2014)
Not scary
19 September 2015
The premise: a rookie cop finds herself guarding an old police station all by herself for one night. Is she insane…or are there really ghosts in the place?

The problem: the movie takes place over the course of one evening and there's only one victim. When there's only one victim in the movie, it's hard to get chills because you know a movie is not going to have their main victim get seriously injured or killed until the very end (if at all). Because if the victim is killed or seriously injured halfway through the movie then there's no movie. So in the forefront or the back of your mind, you're constantly saying, "It's hard to feel any tension because I know the victim isn't going to receive any serious damage until the end. So the movie is going to rely on a few creepy moments here and there just to keep the audience interested."

If there were multiple victims, a lot of the stuff that was meant to be freaky could have been freaky because I know that there's a possibility the victim being scared could be seriously injured or killed. But since there was one victim, the stuff I saw was just mildly creepy. But not enough to make me jump or tense. As a result, my eyes were drooping halfway through. Then the clichéd ending came and I thought, "Yep. Big waste of my time."

Plus, I need to add the villains are the typical deranged hillbillies. In the last 20 years, hillbillies have been the most popular villains in horror movies. More popular than vampires, zombies, ghosts, or the Sasquatch. Why are deranged hillbillies so popular? Can we just give them a rest already? Yes, they can be off-putting, but do we need to have them in the majority of American horror movies than come out per year? Geez! What is this fascination with deranged hillbillies in the American horror film industry? I've encountered foreigners who ask, "Why do American films constantly show hillbillies and rednecks in a negative light? What did they do the Hollywood to deserve such a portrayal?" And I have no clue. Their guess is as good as mine.

So that's pretty much it for this boring movie. The one victim will hear strange noises and voices, or maybe see a ghost who appears and disappears, then there might be a jump scare and then she wonders, "Did I dream that or did that really happen?" Or she'll hear a noise, walk into a room, see furniture move on it's own, and then nothing will happen and she walks away wondering, "Did something weird happen or did I just dream that?" Or she might see a ghost, blink or turn away for a second, then the ghost disappears without harming her. This happens repeatedly throughout this movie that's filled with repetitive jump scares, false alarms, and things that make you say, "I could see that coming a mile away." The only interesting thing about this movie is the crazy yet harmless homeless man whose reason for lurking in the old station are never explained. Not once.

This movie made me ask, "What's the point?" This movie added nothing new or interesting to the horror genre. This is a just another horror movie that's trying to get viewers to overlook the clichéd and tired elements of this unscary horror film by having a pretty actress. Yes, she's pretty and you may like her acting. But her character is bland and neither interesting nor engaging. Halfway through the movie I realized I didn't care if the character lived or died. How can I care for the life of such a bland character?
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