Review of Hotel Transylvania 2

. . . in the year's biggest Nerd\Goth social event. "Vampire, human, unicorn--you're perfect no matter what" is the primary take-away lesson from HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2. In this cartoon world, monsters' traditional heartless sadism has been turned inward as self-obsessive masochism, evidenced by their lyrics to the "Rock-a-Bye Baby" lullaby. If further proof is required of their self-flagellation, picture this: Someone guzzling 80 large Slurpees in 20 minutes. If that doesn't produce enough brain freeze to numb one's neuroses, nothing will. Dracula's daughter, Mavis, seriously ponders defecting to Santa Cruz, CA (mostly because she mistakes it for the stomping grounds of Santa Claws, Transylvanians' second favorite American monster (after the Rifleman). It may take years for Hollywood to have the technology updates necessary to do a live-action remake of this story (especially the tiny Dennisovitch bat with the curly red hair). Globby remains Transylvania's scariest fiend (after Diabetes, of course).