1/10
You Don't Know Horror Films...
21 October 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Instead of taking the usual stalk and slash formula, Josh Bear decided to take the black comedy route in another 'After Dark' ''classic.'' You won't get many laughs, if any at all, or anything that resembles a decent horror film, but you will get a decent supply of nudity, bad acting, and random dialogue, that doesn't seem to fit, well, anywhere.

Unlike Jason Voorhees, 'Lumberjack Man's' main purpose for slicing and dicing innocent, young, terrible actors/actresses, is that he lacks the right type of topping for his Paul Bunyan sized flap jacks (and yes, he carries them around while he's doing his nasty deeds.) I can honestly tell you, that there isn't a single funny moment in the film, much less frightening. It'll just leave you with a dumbfounding look on your face, wondering how this garbage found a distributor.

Michael Madsen has always been one dimensional, but that one role that he's capable of playing, landed him in a few good films throughout the years. Now, it seems that he either has a few bad habits, or 20 kids to support, because he's just trying to soak in as many paychecks that he can. However, for a director like Josh Bear, Michael Madsen still probably holds enough weight with some of us, to get 'Lumberjack Man' at least some recognition.

Random Ramblings of a Madman: There's nothing much to say about 'Lumberjack Man.' It's not supposed to be serious, or good. So, I guess Josh Bear got the last laugh, after all.
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