Review of Aloha

Aloha (I) (2015)
3/10
Aloha is identity crisis masquerading as a movie.
12 December 2015
Aloha has absolutely no idea what it wants to be. If I had to count, I'd say there are about 10 subplots in this movie which is about 9 too many for a romcom. Sure, it's based on real-life, but that's no excuse to make a terrible movie. It's a chore to watch this thing, it took me three separate sittings before I can make it to the end without falling asleep or dying of boredom. Its tone is probably the worst offender. Like I said, it has no idea what it wants to be, so it tries to be everything. A love story, a political statement, a bittersweet comedy, a tense drama-mystery about a guy trying to control space - it does not mesh well at all. I had forgotten Alec Baldwin was even in the movie at one point, and that was probably the most interesting storyline in the damn thing. It's frustrating because there is a good story in there! Somewhere! I think. It's hard to tell with all the surrounding sh*t.

The cast is the only good thing about this movie. It's just a shame watching them have to recite this terrible dialogue to one another. They even have chemistry at times which helps during the cringe-y moments, but convincing acting doesn't make a bad script good. It just makes a bad script... somewhat watchable. But don't watch it. It sucks.
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