Tales from the Darkside: Do Not Open This Box (1988)
Season 4, Episode 15
6/10
Tales from the Darkside: Don't Open the Box
20 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
William LeMassena is a "junk mechanic" who desperately wants to invent something from used parts that could be useful. His grating, nagging wife, played by Eileen Heckart, who never has a good word or comment to say about him, feels her life hitched to him has been unsubstantial and worthless. I can only imagine he has had to endure this gradual decades-long emasculation. Well, perhaps a wrongful delivery—this box that actually reads "Don't Open the Box"—could actually lead to a positive outcome for Will. Richard B Hull, a recognized character actor with that face you just know you have seen before, is the postman who needs the box returned to him. Well, Heckart sees this as a chance to feed a void of avarice never satisfied in her marriage to Will, so she exploits her possession of the box through, "well, it is missing but we'll find it soon". In this lie (Heckart hides the box and Will reluctantly goes along), Heckart negotiates valuables in exchange for the eventual find of the box, while Mr. Postman is patiently waiting for what belongs to him. Heckart has jewelry, her living room replenished, and fancy duds (well, they're lime…but to her they are fancy) while Mr. Postman expects what is his to be returned. Well, a contract will be introduced and the box is to be given back…but what if the box's instructions weren't kept? An eager Heckart, when the box first arrived (believing something valuable might be in it), had opened in, not finding anything much to her disgust…oh, but she let something free that must be repaid.

The episode could be viewed as a showcase for Heckart as the most unlikable, annoying, obnoxious, contemptible drag…she does what she is supposed to do. We aren't supposed to like her so that the twist involved would be fulfilling and gratifying. Years of verbal abuse towards a man that just wanted to be in the basement and work on spare parts, hoping to invent something that might matter…Heckart gets under the skin, and so when that invention comes it is to her detriment, the victim usurps the abuser. Hull couldn't look less sinister yet he is presented as someone that will get what belongs to him. I think the twist, in its conception (the box is opened by someone that wouldn't listen to reason and is certain to suffer for it), is predictable, but the actual way it does play out was rather clever. It does let Will get rid of a source of misery and continue doing what pleasing him. Mr. Postman, going the route of that possible Devil persona, refusing to allow another soul to *get away* announces who he really is, but I figure viewers who watched this show religiously or regularly could figure out he wasn't just a mailman working for UPS.
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