6/10
Arthur Conan Doyle knew what he was doing...
19 June 2016
...so when you ignore Doyle and create your own version of Sherlock Holmes, you invariably weaken the character (as the Robert Downey films show). Billy Wilder anticipated this error by four decades, and the result is a most-unsatisfying film.

Holmes is fundamentally asexual, so any attempt to present him as having any interest in women (or men) is -- well, stupid. His interest in Irene Adler stems from her being smarter than he. As this is presumably a once-in-a-lifetime experience, its duplication here is pointless and ineffective. (Note that the femme fatale's real name -- von Hoffmansthall -- is that of the librettist of several Strauss operas.)

In fact, the whole thing seems pointless and ineffective. The great mystery is not so much untangled as disembroiled, and worse -- there is no human drama at the center of it. Most Sherlock Holmes stories are mysteries second and dramas first, a point which those attempting to duplicate Doyle usually forget.

Perhaps the three-hour version had some wonderfully entertaining scenes -- but they wouldn't change the fact that what we have here IS NOT SHERLOCK HOLMES, in either style or substance.

The only remarkable thing about "The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes" is Miklos Rozsa's score. I find him simply //the worst// film-music composer, ever. His music resembles Max RegeR's (you can't tell whether it's being played forward or backward), and he composed what is likely to forever remain the single worst cue in the history of film music (the star of Bethlehem hovering over the manger).

So I was flabbergasted by this scores. Whether it's the best-possible score for this film is debatable, but it's thoughtful, well-considered, and you can actually //follow// it. (Well, anyone's entitled to an "off" day, I suppose.)
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