1/10
Prepare to Be Disappointed
15 August 2016
Crapola. Drek. If someone tells you to see this flick, check their shoes for dope. Someone told me this was good and I'll never forgive them. Hardcore Henry probably caused the Death of Roger Ebert, from extreme nausea. This picture was so bad, it almost makes you wonder if they set out to deliberately produce a flop, as some kind of Russian insurance scam? If so, than they succeeded at failing, because this piece of celluloid calling itself a feature film hardcore sucked.

It's the story of Henry--half man, half machine. His character is a mystery, (because it's unwritten, and because he doesn't talk), as is his mission, i.e. the plot, something vague about saving a girl. It's basically a live action version of a shoot 'em up video game. The gimmick is POV, right down to seeing the character's arms. Okay, they tried to do something experimental and there was nothing else to it, unless gratuitous, random action scenes are your cup of tea. It's not mine.

It's Robocop meets Total Recall. This is the latest in the amnesia subgenre (think Memento, Paycheck, Hangovers I-III), wherein the hero has to piece together his shattered memory in order to figure out what's going on. Usually those pictures have an intricate plot. Hardcore Henry was a little light on the details, such as making any sense.

To make matters worse, the storytelling incorporates magic realism sporadically, without defining the rules. They never locked down a premise to establish ground rules for the audience to follow along.

Henry is chased through the streets of Moscow by an army of mercenaries led by a cartoonish villain who looks like Kurt Cobain's evil twin. He's out to get Hardcore, yet every time he corners him, he takes his sweet time postulating, thereby allowing Henry time to escape, a la James Bond. Henry is supposed to be in love with a woman he can't remember, who is supposed to be "beautiful," and the audience is supposed to glean this, even though Henry doesn't talk. He leaves her behind in scene after scene, only to set up the next action sequence to near rescue her.

Tim Roth, hide your face in shame! Hardcore Henry was a monstrosity. Had I seen this in the theater, I would have asked for my money back.
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